Crapgadget: USB donut, cube speakers, rose microphone, terrible PMPs

The lull before the craptacular gadget storm that is CES continues this week, but nothing will ever stop our inbox from filling up with hastily-designed and poorly-implemented gadgets. That's right, it's another edition of our newest running series, Crapgadget, in which tedium is lightly battered and fried to a crisp, delicious rage. Enjoy the crap out of this, okay? We nearly gouged our eyes out in the making.

Read - Strawberry Donut USB flash drive: Direct quote from the website: "everything you desire in the ear of customized flash storage solutions." Yep, anyone who pays $50 for this thing is definitely getting something in the ear.
Read - Tiny USB cube speaker: How else to annoy everyone around you, while still remaining unable to hear anything? [Via Technabob]
Read - Venus JXD305 PMP: Take one part iPhone, two parts HTC, and one part miniSD-only storage and stir -- voila, not quite KIRF enough. [Via PMP Today]
Read - Rose USB Microphone: Too cheap to spring for a Jawbone and real roses? Why not go for the rare combined epic fail?
Read - AMV-format only PMP: Finally, a generic Chinese PMP that allows us to watch all of our AMV-format video on the go. Our dreams are now reality. [Via PMP Today]

[aznofazns Posted Dec 28th 2007 11:44PM]

wtfh is amv?

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 28th 2007 11:56PM]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AMV_video_format

Basically, an obscure Chinese video format that no one else in the world cares about

[aznofazns Posted Dec 29th 2007 12:09AM]

hm... i thought so. nobody cares about the chinese! they sux!

wait... i'm chinese :(

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 29th 2007 9:31AM]

Yeah, I rewrote the AMV video format article over the past coupla days because I got a cheap S1 MP3 player for Christmas :-) Amazing stuff - like MJPEG in an AVI container but actually WORSE. Because the S1's run on a Z80. EIGHT BIT FOR THE WIN! Go to wiki.s1mp3.org to demonstrate that there is nothing, NOTHING, that someone won't try to hack ...

[RioRyan Posted Dec 29th 2007 12:16AM]

That speaker looks pretty sweet.
http://www.usbfever.com/index_eproduct_img.php?imagename=member/37704/products/464_Tiny_Mini_Speaker_2.jpg
For $12?
I'll take it.

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 29th 2007 12:24AM]

That would be awesome if the speaker was affixed to the middle finger.

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 29th 2007 12:32AM]

Engrish FTW:

(from the Rose Mic website)

"Also note that there is not only St Valentine to offer to your good liked a gift much more. "

I couldn't have said it better myself. :-P

[GoodBytes Posted Dec 29th 2007 12:45AM]

Exactly what I needed, a USB rose microphone... perfect for spying.
No one will notice this microphone, as they will see a rose!.... with a cable connecting to a turn on computer and a sound recording software showing that it is recording, but that is small details.

Is it a rose or a microphone, that's the question.. hihihi

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 29th 2007 1:07AM]

The JXD305 player looks pretty good. According to PMP Today: "It has a 3-inch screen and plays these files: DivX, Xvid, AVI, 3GP, MPEG-4, MP3, WMA, AAC, WAV , JPEG, TXT. No pricing info yet." Doesn't sound too bad.

Can't say the same for that other silver one.

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 29th 2007 2:19AM]

Actually, the rose mic could be a pretty good idea...

Not everyone is like us, there's people out there that would take a rose over a insert.your.favorite.futuristic.trend.here-ish looking microphone

[and then the god said Posted Dec 29th 2007 2:39AM]

the cube speaker looks cool.it should named iSpeker, oh wait iShit can not be crap right ?

[(Unverified) Posted Dec 29th 2007 2:43AM]

I honestly thought it was a player that only played Anime Music Videos, and at that point I'd rather just not own electronics altogether.

[Argot Posted Dec 29th 2007 3:14AM]

No iPhone?

[miles Posted Dec 29th 2007 2:50PM]

No, because the iPhone is an amazing piece of technology, unlike the Zune, which trys to copy ipod but failes.

[RioRyan Posted Dec 30th 2007 1:08AM]

Yes, Miles, the zune is ONNS the iPhone especially since it doesn't even have a phone. It's a definate competitor, but I can see how microsoft did a little bit of copying.

(SARCASM!)

[RioRyan Posted Dec 30th 2007 1:09AM]

strike that, *OWNS*

[sunnymiu Posted Dec 29th 2007 5:10AM]

Oops I got deeply interested with that "Cube USB Speaker"
And it was just $9.99! Incredible!!!

I wanna get one

[bobsmith Posted Dec 29th 2007 10:22AM]

why would a speaker that small need to be charged? I think it has an unnecessary battery, charging circuit, and usb port. the power output should be available through normal headphone jack power.

now if it could get sound through usb, that would be cool.

[kevkid Posted Dec 29th 2007 6:10PM]

anyone notice Jackie Chan in the pic of the pmp?

[Atonomie Posted Dec 29th 2007 10:25PM]

I did. It looks like the movie is, "New Police Story"

[Deoki Posted Dec 29th 2007 9:13PM]

Yay! A PMP that only plays Anime Music Videos!
My otaku dream is true!

[RioRyan Posted Dec 30th 2007 2:18AM]

Strike that, *OWNS*

[SimonRichards Posted Dec 30th 2007 2:53PM]

I am so getting one of those cube speakers!