2008's Biggest Blips: Advance Wars: Days of Ruin
Developer: Intelligent Systems
Publisher: Nintendo
Release: January 21
The inclusion of Advance Wars: Days of Ruin on our list of 2008's Biggest Blips has caused us something of a quandary. You see, unlike all the other games on our list, Days of Ruin is already out. Indeed, as you read this text, (we sincerely hope) most of you will have picked the game up, and surrendered to its charms. In other words, there's not much point in us previewing the game, as the majority of you will already know how totally freakin' awesome Advance Wars: Days of Ruin really is.
Hence, rather than tell you stuff that you already know, we thought we'd reflect on what a wreckage our social lives have become since Days of Ruin first made its entrance, and ask: are you in the same boat? Has Intelligent Systems' turn-based gem completely devoured your free time, or do you struggle to understand the palaver? Let's find out ...
PRESENTING A DS FANBOY QUIZ:
How addicted are YOU to Advance Wars: Days of Ruin?
1. A friend politely requests to borrow your copy of Advance Wars: Days of Ruin for a weekend vacation, promising to have it back to you safe and sound by Monday. Do you:
A. Give your friend the game, and cheerily ask if they'd be interested in borrowing any other titles.
B. Reluctantly hand over the cart, but not before making your friend sign a legally binding contract promising that neither the game or your saved data will come to any harm.
C. Pounce on them instantly, wrestle them to the ground, and bite clean through their Achilles tendon before getting up and yelling at your prostrate, sobbing friend, "Borrow that, fool!"
2. For unavoidable reasons, you find yourself without a copy of Advance Wars: Days of Ruin. Do you:
A. Shrug it off and think, "Oh well, as fun as it is, a break from all that sprite-based violence won't kill me."
B. Find yourself trying to mentally complete the map that you were heroically defeated on at the end of your last session. Twitch occasionally.
C. Start to shake violently, while frantically attempting to stage an impromptu game of Advance Wars: Days of Ruin with whatever comes to hand, be that salt and pepper shakers, bottle caps, cutlery, stray dogs, pensioners, or abandoned military hardware.
3. One way to measure addiction is to assess your ability to play Advance Wars: Days of Ruin well; after all, it makes sense that the terminally addicted would be very good at the game. With this in mind, please look at the map below, and then estimate (as honestly as possible) the best result you could draw from this situation. You are the blue army:
A. A defeat, but hey, the odds were against you.
B. You could hold out for a stalemate.
C. A full, resounding victory inside 15 days.
4. Your house is ablaze, and you only have time to rescue one item that is precious to you. Do you grab:
A. Grandma.
B. Your dog.
C. All of your 27 copies of Advance Wars: Days of Ruin (N.B: you purchased this many as you privately hoped more sales would mean you get a sequel sooner); they don't have their own legs, both Grandma and the dog do.
5. Did you have time to complete this quiz?
A. Tons!
B. I squeezed it in. Just.
C. *AFK*
Mostly As: You call this commitment, "soldier?" Pathetic!
Mostly Bs: Getting better. Stand by for total meltdown of family/social/love life in ten, nine ...
Mostly Cs: We can almost definitely be friends. Here's our code: 3351-3155-3025. We can talk about your wussy addiction problems after during 18 or so hours of Wi-Fi battlin'. Now shut up and play.
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