Guildwatch: His name is Rob Parkins

Whatever you do, don't get Rob Parkins angry. That's the lesson Nucholza learned when he watched a Warlock named Adriyel die to a double pull, and then nabbed one of the mobs (and the Fel Lotus it dropped) away. The good news is, Rob Parkins isn't for sale: Nucholza's account never did get "scrubbed." But be careful whose loot you gank -- you never know who's first cousins with Rob Parkins.

That bit of funny drama and more, all after the break in this week's Guildwatch. And don't forget that your tips help fuel our column -- send in drama, downed, and recruiting notices (and make sure to include your guild and server, as in "US Cenarius-A") to wowguildwatch@gmail.com. Whether it's your guild's proud downing, or a rival guild's juicy drama on their forums, send it to us so we can all enjoy it!

DRAMA

• Leave Shimegami alone! That means you, Prophecy on Madoran -- at first I thought this was just a "taunting is serious business" thing, but our tipster said it's a fairly involved hate campaign. The folks in Prophecy left a guild called Delusions of Grandeur (so how's Misanthropy fit into all this?) because they thought the guild was passing up T5 content too fast, and now they're sending hatemail and anonymous messages through ingame mail harassing their old guildies. I would tell both sides to cut it out -- Shime, grow some thicker skin and start populating that ignore list, and Prophecy, quit being losers and get back to work -- why farm T5 when you can be downing T6?

• Team Hippo on EU Ghostlands downed Vashj the other day, and Kael is next, so they're doing pretty well in the endgame. But other guilds have been giving them trouble -- apparently Tenebra and XII on the same server have skipped over Vashj and Kael and have headed to MH. Which isn't bad, except now they're bragging that they've working on Hyjal when Hippo is still back working on Kael. Hippo argues, as do a few other guilds on the server, that they're doing things the "right" way, and that progress in MH means nothing if you haven't cleared the previous content first. What say you, GW commenters?

• Nucholza on Cenarius was farming trees in Skettis when a Warlock named Adrieyl came through and pulled both Alluvion and a tree -- and didn't live through it (that's a tough pull, even for a Warlock). So Nucholza went ahead and grabbed the tree (and the Fel Lotus) after the Warlock died, and got a troublesome/hilarious whisper for the trouble. Please, Rob Parkins, don't hurt us. I have no doubt that he does work for Blizzard, but Rob Parkins, wherever he is, is probably laughing at this one just as much as we are.
  

• Some juicy gossip from Aerie Peak-H: Exiled decided they would start selling off some T6 tokens for lots of ingame cash, and someone named Stripsearch, we hear, took them up on that offer. But it hasn't been good for the reputation -- her guild, Contra, has gotten lots of flak for wearing a few pieces of Kara gear and whatever T6 stuff they could afford. And there's more -- apparently Contra is trying to buy guildies, too, by pulling in folks from other guilds to come and run with them. Money may be able to buy you T6, kids, but it can't buy you love.

• This is a pretty troubling story: the second highest progressed guild on the server, Hush is leaving Muradin, and our tipster says that the reason is because the guildleader apparently chewed out a guild member for not making a raid or posting on the forum that he couldn't make it. What's the troubling part? We're told that the guildie was apparently rushing to the hospital due to a heart attack.

• The GM of Reckless on Cairne (and also the guy who rung the bell in the AQ event) has gone MIA. We also hear that not only did he take 1500g with him (from another tipster), but that this seriously puts progression on Cairne in jeopardy. So how long, do we think, until the guild dies off for good?

• Drama from Pandemonium on Windrunner -- apparently Tharamis is quite the drama queen, as his whining and comments led an officer named Diavola, who'd previously been recruiting for them, to split the guild. He tells a different story of course, but we've seen this "serious business" vibe before -- as our tipster says, you can't treat someone like crap and then be surprised when they leave. I'm with the first reply: "just drop it, it's a videogame."
  

• Seems like a great application, right? Not so much. Be sure to stick around to the end -- that's where you'll find the vent recording (unfortunately, it's only got the one guy, but it's pretty amazing how far he's going to lie). Next thing you'll know, he'll be saying his first cousin is Rob Parkins.
  

DOWNED

• Dark Knight Alliance and Tell Your Sister Thanks teamed up on Cho'gall-A and dropped The Lurker Below. Grats! DKA is also still recruiting, so if you want in on some of that SSC action, let them know.

• Forgotten Soldiers on Anvilmar have dropped Prince and Nalorakk, and most of Kara (save Prince and Nether, though they'll be there soon enough) is all on farm. Yeeehaw! (Because, you know, they're on the farm).

• Euphoric on EU Khadgar-A had a hell of a week last week: not only did they down Illypoo (video or it didn't happen), but they also grabbed their first guild bear in ZA! Nice!

• Synergy on Shattered Halls one-shotted Gruul's on their very first 25man raid. That's High King Mausome! (Don't like that one? You try coming up with these.) Maggy is on notice.

• Haven on EU Nordrassil-H has been on a roll: Anetheron, Kaz'Rogal and Azgalor in Mount Hyjal and Najentus, Supremus, Shade of Akama and Teron Gorefiend in The Black Temple. They say you can't beat that "one more lucky try" of the night, but be careful with that -- if you win, it's great, but if you lose that try, it's quite a downer.

• TeamDogg on Aman'thul-H now have Kara on farm, are 2/6 in ZA, and are recruiting more members to try and beat up on Gruul and Mags.

• Heroic on Norgannon-A did a two-shot of Void Reaver on their first night in T5 content. Nice job.

• Gnome Ravagers (server?) has had Maulgar and Gruul on farm, and Mag on the last two. And the same tipster sends us news that a pickup group he's in, Yetipugs, has gotten all the way up to Shade of Akama -- never the same 25 people, but somehow they progress. Very nice.

• Shard on EU Twilight's Hammer have only been in existence and raiding for a few months, and they've gone from level 1 to 3/4, 5/6, and even 4/5 in Hyjal. Only one guy's been this far (they didn't say a name, but it was probably Rob Parkins), so they're excited about forging ahead their own way.

• Omega from Shadowmoon downed Lurker for the first time last month. VR also got killed, and Gruul/Mag are on farm while Hydross is on notice.

• Evolution on Fenris-A downed Bloodboil last week -- Archi is up next, and they're looking for a good tank and a healer or two as well. Ping them on their website if interested.

• Deathknight Trainer of Blood Furnace-H was here for recruitment a little while ago, and apparently they found what they were looking for, because they're no longer recruiting. And apparently the recruits are working out -- they went straight to 3/6 SSC, dropping Hydross, Lurker, and Tidewalker all in one shot (I assume one shot each, not one big pull). Leo is on notice for next time.

• Carpe Noctem on Aerie Peak-H went into SSC for the first time, and sent the Lurker back down Below. Hydross is next up on the chopping block, and they're still recruiting some new members to join a fun, social raiding guild.

• The Hand of Lothar on Farstriders downed Netherspite for the first time last week. Nightbane is on notice -- they've got him to 49%, and with a few more runs up to him, they'll get him for sure..

• Dead Poets Society Durotan-H dropped The Lurker Below the other night, and got Hydross to about 50%, but trash respawns kept him alive. That's all right -- trash's only duty is to die. He'll go down soon enough.

• ROFLMAO, a raiding co-op on Silvermoon followed up on its threat to Leo the Blind and sent him packing last week, putting them at 5/6 status. This week they're heading into BT -- High Warlord Naj'entus is getting his pink slip.

• The Gravy Robbers (who didn't tell us a server) dropped a note that they've finished off Netherspite in Karazhan. They're still looking for help, too -- any class, any level, they'll help you get up to where you can help raid with them.

• The Bit Players on Lothar-A continue to rock: three bosses left in Mt. Hyjal to kill. Plus, they had a problem with Pepe's Shroud dropping, and even though the MT won, he wasn't able to loot it due to a wipe. But no problem -- they hoped for it to drop again the next time, and sure enough, it did.

• The New Inquisition on Blackhand-A were aiming for Vashj, but that fish woman kept giving them trouble, so they headed to Hyjal and dropped Rage Winterchill instead. That's why the attunement's gone, right? Go get some Hyjal gear and then come back and show the Lady what for.

• The Totally Rad Guild of Executus had a breakout week this week. They cleared Gruul for the first time (with only one wipe), and then went and got two chests, downing up to Jan'alai. Hex Lord Malacrass is on notice (and Mag ain't far behind).
  

• Jungle Style on Windrunner has downed the first three bosses in MH and the first five in Black Temple in the past three weeks. Nice job.

• Ascension of Blackwater Raiders-H was prepared and downed Illidan claiming the server first! FOR THE HORDE! Next on the hitlist? Sunwell, baby! Grats!

• Pantheon on Steamwheedle Cartel has downed the Eredar Twins in Sunwell. Woot! They're almost as powerful as Rob Parkins!
  

• Vengeance on Nazgrel-H has three firsts this week: Hydross, Zul'jin, and Solarian. They're also recruiting: main healers (specifically some CoH Priests), some caster DPS, and an Enhance Shaman.

• Dance Commanders on Eredar took out Maggy for the first time, and that means Loot Reaver goes on notice. They're recruiting, too -- Druids, Holy Pallys, Mages, and Locks.

• Artifact on Ursin started only back in April, and have already dropped Magtheridon, gone 5/6 and 3/4, and are headed to Hyjal very soon. Recruiting is closed, unless you're a good Shaman or Druid healer.

• Tinker Town Mafia (that's a good image -- gangster Gnomes!) on Draka-A did a full Karathon for the first time, and then to celebrate they even went into ZA and downed both the Bear and Eagle bosses. Wild. HKM is on notice!

• Natural Order on Farstriders-H went back into ZedEh (as they call it) and started working towards a full clear, but also one-shotted Maulgar and Gruul for an all-guild first. Maggy also got dropped to 41%, so he's on notice while they read up on the encounter. They're still recruiting, too -- adults, Canadian or otherwise, are welcome. Fill out an app on the website.

• Despised on Duskwood-A had a busy week -- their new raidleader Arunhw lead them into BT and they dropped Naj and Supremus on their first time, and later Shade of Akama bit it. Hyjal also saw action -- Azgalor dropped there, and they also got their first Bear in Zul'Aman. Very nice job.

• Sunwell (I think that's their name) on EU Dragonmaw-A just downed Void Reaver and Magtheridon. They were plagued by disconnections of the main tank and some "cube clickers" (I've never heard this term before -- does it mean people who click their icons instead of using hotkeys?), they apparently held up long enough to down both. Grats!

RECRUITING

• Molten Core Swim Team (winner of this week's Best Guild Name award) on Velen pulled a Karathon the other night, and are working their way through ZA as well. They're also recruiting dependable healing and DPS classes for Gruul's and Maggy -- in two months they've cleaned out the 10mans, so join them for 25man fun as well.

• Brainiacs on the EU Turalyon server have been making good progress into Karazhan, and are now looking for a few more Priests to help out healing on Tuesdays and Thursdays. They're a relaxed and casual guild, so if you're a healer who's ready to help, definitely look them up.

• Spirit of Malorne on Onyxia-H is currently in desperate need of tanks and healers for Karazhan. They recently began raiding and need as many skilled players as possible to help keep progress going.
  

• Legio Vici of Duskwood-A has Kara on farm (usually 2 runs/week) and are 5/6 in ZA. Through successful alliances with two other guilds, they've cleared Gruuls and Mag multiple times, and taken down Kazzak to boot. They're mature, friendly, and have a serious attitude toward raiding and a dedication to helping each other improve with a generous and positive open culture. They're recruiting 70s only (healers and tanks, including Shaman of all classes), but they also have a leveling guild for alts and pre-70 up-and-coming recruits.

• Violence Reborn on The Maelstrom server is recruiting all levels and classes to join a friendly, fun and casual guild. They're not raiding hardcore, but they are dipping into Kara and ZA occasionally. They have all kinds of players, from old to young and professionals to bums -- if you want a good social time and aren't worried about progression, join up for some fun.

• Order of the Raven (Aggramar-A) is currently recruiting for Sunwell (working on Felmyst). They're recruiting a few classes, but mostly healers, unless you're a Holy Priest. They're the top guild on the server, are mature and friendly, and will answer any and all questions on their website.

That's it for this week's GW. We'll be back as usual next week -- until then, happy raiding!

That not enough guild news for you? There's lots more Guildwatch in the archives, including a little fantasy drama (that turned out to be a hoax), and even the random hilarious Vent recording. Wherever people /gquit or are /gkicked, that's where you'll find GW!