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Rise, my apprentice: GameStop names new CEO


(Post contains optional musical accompaniment. Play video after break, then read for full effect.)


The imperial cash masters of GameStop announced today that Daniel DeMatteo will replace Richard Fontaine as the company's Sith Lord chief executive. Fontaine will focus on international domination through "acquisitions and strategic development." DeMatteo, who previously held the position of chief operating officer, will see that role filled by new apprentice Paul Raines, a former executive VP at Home Depot Inc.

Fontaine, who will continue attempting to solidify GameStop's global supremacy at the age of 66, had been the company's master since 1996. His new title will be that of executive chairman once the management changes take effect Sept. 7. Look out world: Fontaine's coming.