US Army turns to toy company to develop new weapon

We're not quite sure how the pitch session went with this one, but it looks like the US Army was so impressed by toymaker Lund and Company's Hydrogen Fuel Rocket that it decided to recruit the company to build a decidedly more lethal version of it. The new system, dubbed the Variable Velocity Weapon System, will apparently be able to be switched between lethal and non-lethal modes, and be loaded with rubber bullets, actual bullets, or other projectiles, which are fired by mixing a liquid or gaseous fuel with air in a combustion chamber. What's more, the company says that the technology could be applied to any size weapon from a "handgun to a Howitzer," and it says a demonstration version could be ready in as little as six months, with full production possible within 18 months, pending approval.

[Via Danger Room]

[Grey Acumen @ Jul 24th 2008 5:42PM]

Where's Robin Williams and LL Cool J to save teh day when you need them?

[Steve @ Jul 24th 2008 5:51PM]

...I want my string beans to be quarantined! I like a little fortress around my mashed potatoes so the meatloaf doesn't invade my mashed potatoes and cause mixing in my plate!

Oh yes, Ladies Love Cool James...

[Grey Acumen @ Jul 24th 2008 5:58PM]

Movie reference successfully verified! I am totally humming "Happy Workers" and "The Mirror Song" in my head now

[Samboini @ Jul 24th 2008 5:58PM]

My thoughts exactly! Let's hope the products don't get accidentally mixed up and result in Little Johnny taking home an ICBM. On second thoughts, that would rock.

[Steve @ Jul 24th 2008 6:01PM]

Only if your name is Johnny and you're diminutive. Otherwise, we're in trouble.

[KINGMEEEEEE!!! @ Jul 24th 2008 6:14PM]

How about we build a time machine and shoot one of these "Variable Velocity" weapons at Columbus's ship? Then we wouldn't have to worry about an army that turns toys into weapons. eh?

[Steve @ Jul 24th 2008 6:21PM]

Then we wouldn't have to worry about your posting anymore either. eh?

[LarryLarryLarry @ Jul 24th 2008 6:46PM]

Flamebait Rating: 11
Troll Status: Confirmed
Girlfriend: None
Job: None
Friends: None
Directive: Dispatch VVWS

[CUBSWILLWIN @ Jul 24th 2008 9:55PM]

*Sigh*... I'm ashamed of our government...

[Grey Acumen @ Jul 24th 2008 10:28PM]

come on, people, get a grip. it's not like they're trying to turn barbie dolls into WMDs. They're turning a toy rocket into a real rocket, not a real stretch.

I seriously get so tired of these no brain reactions of "military = evil" and "improving weapons = evil"

If we don't have the ability to use violence to respond to violence, then people who try to use peace to respond to violence will be dead and only the ones who use violence in response to peace will be the ones left standing. Thanks, but I'd rather stick to the ones that keep violence with violence and peace with peace.
Is the US perfect at this? Probably not, but it's a damn sight better than some of the alternatives.

At the very least, find some other post to reply to in order to keep your comments on the first page. My original first comment was referencing the movie "Toys" It's fun, I actually just ordered the DVD after reading this article. I recommend it to anyone who likes Robin Williams, and even those people that don't care about him either. It's got a good mix of comedy and seriousness.

[Tim Brown @ Jul 25th 2008 5:00AM]

I dont think they are evil, Im hoping that I will be able to pick a couple up in my Toys R Us. Will bring a new meaning to nerf wars

[BluesK1d @ Jul 25th 2008 9:45AM]

@KINGMEEEEEE!!!

Yeah the military wants to kill less people so let's all complain about it and make snide liberal comments on gadget blogs! Harumph!!

[Boywithhair @ Jul 24th 2008 5:45PM]

Hahaha I used one of those in my nanotechnology class. Interesting that it got on engadget...:O

[antiver @ Jul 24th 2008 7:01PM]

Adding that to my Christmas list.

[someguy7234 @ Jul 24th 2008 7:06PM]

I got one of these for my lil-brother for Christmas.... I remember it trying to teach me things... and taking 4 tries to figure out how to get it to work right (after which, the batteries were pretty much out).
On the up side, it has a neat safety switch that kept my lil brother from popping himself in the face

[iEye @ Jul 24th 2008 5:45PM]

*Batteries not included

[Cycomachead @ Jul 24th 2008 7:33PM]

No, the joke is that there is no pre-oder info!

So when will this hit shelves??

[Decoy @ Jul 24th 2008 8:43PM]

*Shrapnel grenades may contain small parts
*Nerve Gas: Choking Hazard

[Matt @ Jul 24th 2008 10:09PM]

*This Material can kill you

[anonymouspimp @ Jul 24th 2008 5:46PM]

Wow, I thought at first this was a joke.

[Wwhat @ Jul 24th 2008 5:48PM]

Nice how they lend themselves to this, NOT.

[Justin Williams @ Jul 24th 2008 5:52PM]

This wouldn't be the first time. Mattel made the had grips of m16s during the Vietnam war. Ive heard some people say they produced more than that, but its been written off as myth.

http://www.snopes.com/military/m16.asp

[Nightmare @ Jul 24th 2008 7:48PM]

@ justin
You are correct, sir if you watch the history channel much, mattel also had a hand in the early model thompson(W.W.II).

[dubbbya @ Jul 24th 2008 6:02PM]

That is hilarious. They can't invest in trophy or dragon skin, but they'll buy a toy =]

[KINGMEEEEEE!!! @ Jul 24th 2008 6:18PM]

pud face. If troops actually live to finish their tour you have to pay them that big fat bonus that got them enlist in the first place, or even worse "disabled benefits".

*shudders*

[Dylan @ Jul 24th 2008 6:17PM]

I am right in saying we didnt just hit april, right?

[master_sword @ Jul 24th 2008 6:17PM]

"any size weapon from a 'handgun to a Howitzer,'"
they've left their options wide open

[DeusExMach @ Jul 25th 2008 3:52PM]

And honestly, what would be the point of a Howitzer that fires rubber bullets?

...I mean, I guess that would be one hell of a warning to "knock it the hell off..."

[Loonie @ Jul 24th 2008 6:18PM]

Excellent! We just simply don't have enough ways of killing, maiming or oppressing people.

[LarryLarryLarry @ Jul 24th 2008 6:51PM]

So if we don't build any new weapons, you complain about the cost. If we do build new, better, cheaper weapons, you complain that we have too many weapons.

I strongly suggest you relocate to The Land of Solla-Sollew, "Where they never have problems, at least, very few."

My dream for all you limp-wristed pacificists is that a crack-addled burglar shoots you in your own home. Is that wrong? I suppose it is, but a man can dream.

[Loonie @ Jul 24th 2008 7:23PM]

I would complain about the cost? errrr.... okay. If you say so.

You have pretty sick and narrow-minded dreams, too

[Dave @ Jul 24th 2008 8:24PM]

"My dream for all you limp-wristed pacificists is that a crack-addled burglar shoots you in your own home."

What makes you think he's a pacifist? Maybe he's an anti-government gun-owner hoping for the day some random asshole calls him a "limp-wristed pacifist".

[paul34 @ Jul 24th 2008 6:26PM]

You just walk off a bridge cause you fail.

[Nightmare @ Jul 24th 2008 7:48PM]

@ paul34
DON'T FEED THE TROLL. Can't you read the sign???


LMAO...

[granny down east @ Jul 24th 2008 6:33PM]

Gives new meaning to the phrase "war toys."

[Jared @ Jul 24th 2008 8:49PM]

Ha! take that, Lawn Darts!

[granny down east @ Jul 24th 2008 9:54PM]

That is so odd that you said that. I live between Cherry Point and Camp LeJeune.
OOHRAH!

[einherjan @ Jul 24th 2008 6:40PM]

Tell me the one on the right doesn't look like a bong lol

[Benson @ Jul 24th 2008 7:02PM]

The one on the right doesn't look like a bong lol.



What's a "bong lol"?

[David @ Jul 24th 2008 8:36PM]

The "one on the right" is the launch pad.....

[Charles @ Jul 24th 2008 7:14PM]

"The US Army are interested in arming soldiers with weapons that can be switched between lethal and non-lethal modes."

Finally the order "phasers on stun" will be issued in real life. Alright, maybe it'll be "set your tuneable lethality switch to stun" but that doesn't quite have the same ring to it so they should just call the guns phasers and everybody's happy.

[GaryZ @ Jul 24th 2008 7:17PM]

To folks @ Lund & Co., don't mix up your shipments for the Army and Toys R Us, okay?

[jmkovey @ Jul 24th 2008 7:31PM]

"Would you like to play a game?"...

[rutsy5 @ Jul 24th 2008 7:38PM]

Fire the Stomp Rockets(R)! Man the squirt guns! Unleash the Nerf torpedo!

[Jonathan-DBOSS @ Jul 24th 2008 7:48PM]

Comes with a bundled Dick Cheney Action figure!

[MS @ Jul 24th 2008 7:59PM]

Next up: radioactive Furbies. Oh, won't Christmas be fun!

[hiko36 @ Jul 24th 2008 8:06PM]

Only in the US can my little sister play with the same toys as the Army...

[NoAndThen @ Jul 24th 2008 9:00PM]

ya, this is what we need. MORE ways to kill people.

if this dropped, you know, food packages, i'd be down.

but eff that

[CaptSaltyJack @ Jul 24th 2008 9:25PM]

Army: "Hey there, cute little toy company."
Lund: "Hi!"
Army: "You know that neat, fun rocket thingy you make?"
Lund: "Uh huh!"
Army: "For kids?"
Lund: "Yeah!"
Army: "With a little stamp on the box saying 'for ages 6 and up,' and the kid-friendly colors?"
Lund: "Yessir!"
Army: ...
Lund: ...
Army: "Yeah we're gonna need you to build a version that kills people dead."
Lund: ...
Army: "We'll pay you."
Lund: ...
Army: "$20 mil?"
Lund: "$30 mil."
Army: "Done."

[Timerider @ Jul 24th 2008 9:46PM]

How the hell were they impressed by that piece of crap? I got one several years ago and only got it to move at all once, an *astounding* 10 feet. The worse toy ever made.