Dear Auntie TUAW,
Hi, I've been keeping track of a game that was supposed to be released in the App Store this week called [REDACTED]. Me and many other people are ticked at how Apple spends time approving apps like "I Am Rich" and other pointless apps while they DENIED my app because the toolbar (pen, eraser etc) wasn't at the bottom on the screen!! How pointless is that? Many people have been waiting for this app and it [saddens] us how apple approves tons of pointless apps a day but denies a very nice looking app, all because the tool bar wasn't at the bottom. What are they thinking?!
Let Auntie TUAW give you a nice cold ice tea. That will help take the heat -- if not the sting -- out of this hot summer rejection for you. Yes, Apple's rejections can be capricious. It hasn't just been you. Yesterday, I heard about an app that was rejected because its use of vibration in game play did not adhere to the (unwritten) understanding that vibration is meant to be an alert feature, not a game enhancement. Apple felt that those poor racers who had just crashed into a wall might be confused by the iPhone vibration and think, perhaps, that they were receiving an alert unrelated to the game -- each and every time they crashed into that wall.
On the bright side, you got your rejection before your App hit the store. When Apple changes its mind after, there's no recourse. So Auntie suggests that you lower your toolbar (and your blood pressure!) and resubmit. Yes, Apple has just pooed on your aesthetic sensibility as an independent developer but they're the only iPhone App distribution game in town.
And remember, even when Apple beats you up, Auntie TUAW still loves you.
Hugs and kissies!