Looks like the years I spent in Spencer's finally paid off, as I was given the dubious honor of sniffing out a few dozen of the 60+ fart apps on the store. But I promise, no squeaking out a lame joke just because this is a video about farts. No silently doling out the goods while looking the other way, either -- I'll just squeeze my mind cheeks together and hold it all in. I even avoided using the "1812 Overture" as theme music. For maximum effect I highly recommend blasting this video loudly at work.
I'll own up to it: I had a hard time not laughing while taping this. Many thanks to the developers who provided promo codes and laxative audio (seriously, don't drink coffee while watching this). Not every app I tried made it to the video, but they are all included in the link list (next page).
Something you'll notice is that many fart apps are simple -- sometimes almost too primitive. Also: they are mostly just soundboard apps, with some by the same developer as derivative works designed to promote their work on the App Store. Why Apple had to make this into a circus I'll never understand (keeping them out of the store temporarily only drew more attention to them). But, like any mall with various departments, the market will eventually sort this mess out. Read on for the full list or check out the gallery of featured fart apps. You have been warned.
Only a handful of developers ignored my request for a promo code to feature their app, and I have to say, everyone who did respond was astoundingly pleasant. It's something Mac shareware users have known for years: there's a real community when developing for Apple platforms. While iPhone devs can be a different breed (many are coming to the platform with zero Mac experience), I was blown away with the conversations and great people involved. No joke there, each one of these folks deserves a buck for their fart hard work.
NOTE: All links go to the App Store in iTunes.
Cheese Cutter Whoopee Cushion
Excuse Me: Farts for Free
Fart+Burp = Fun Calculator
Fart and Flashlight
Fart for Free
Fart Lighter - Pull My Finger, Pro Edition
Fart Machine - the original
Fart or Die (features a full song and is listed under Health -- go figure)
FartCall (not shown, but a clever prank that farts when someone "answers" your phone)
I LUV 2 FART!
iFart - Ultimate fart machine
iFart Mobile - #1 Fart Machine for all ages
iWhoopi Cushion: Advanced Fart Machine (a rare miss for SOPODS, whose apps I usually like)
myFart - fart machine
Pass the Gas: The Fart Sharing Network
Touch My Finger
uFart - Fart Machine
WhoFarted? (The Ultimate Fart Simulator)
Yes, I realize there are over 30 more apps that include farts, belches and more. I'm sure in a year there will be twice as many.
My favorite apps in this, er, genre:
- Touch My Finger: its dynamic audio generation is ingenious and hilarious.
- Pull My Finger: for style points, although the interface was confusing. A fart app should be simple.
- Ultimate Fart Machine: best sounds, I think. Not that I'm a connoisseur of farts.
- Atomic Fart: everything you need except recording your own. If you want that, the venerable iFart is really awesome. Atomic is also the most expensive of the bunch at $1.99 (every other app was either free or $.99).
- iWhoopi: I understand that if you have location calls in your app you will get a warning message -- nothing you can do about that. But once I hit the button and created a fart noise, I couldn't easily repeat the effect. I never could figure out how to reset the darn whoopee cushion! In a world of flatulent apps, this one stunk.