Caption Contest: The Network covers ground in a Smart car

We've heard that The Network is pretty expansive, but we never could figure out just how Verizon Wireless managed to cover all those dead zones in record time without being heard. Now, it all makes sense.

Sean: "With a requirement to cut costs and save cake, Verizon has hired Bob the Builder to do the work of thousands. New Verizon slogan: 'Yes we can!'"
Darren: "Anticipating an ambush from Chad and all his traditionalist friends, Verizon employees were forced to wear hard hats not just on location, but in transit."
Paul: "There's probably a smarmy guy with glasses in that car. Can you feel the anger rising within? You must learn to control that anger."
Chris: "'Small, slow, and easily destroyed' was not the corporate image Verizon was hoping to project with its road fleet."
Don: "Verizon was forced to quickly improvise after its first vehicle, the Storm-mobile, mistook park for reverse and met an unfortunate end."
Joe: "It's a long, lonely road out there -- longer and lonelier when your car is wearing a funny hat."
Nilay: "God, I hope no one can hear me now."
Ben: "Ironically, this Verizon Wireless driver was seen using a GSM handset while traversing the International Speedway."
Thomas: "My other car is a T-Mobile."

[Thanks, Evan]