Sean: "With a requirement to cut costs and save cake, Verizon has hired Bob the Builder to do the work of thousands. New Verizon slogan: 'Yes we can!'"
Darren: "Anticipating an ambush from Chad and all his traditionalist friends, Verizon employees were forced to wear hard hats not just on location, but in transit."
Paul: "There's probably a smarmy guy with glasses in that car. Can you feel the anger rising within? You must learn to control that anger."
Chris: "'Small, slow, and easily destroyed' was not the corporate image Verizon was hoping to project with its road fleet."
Don: "Verizon was forced to quickly improvise after its first vehicle, the Storm-mobile, mistook park for reverse and met an unfortunate end."
Joe: "It's a long, lonely road out there -- longer and lonelier when your car is wearing a funny hat."
Nilay: "God, I hope no one can hear me now."
Ben: "Ironically, this Verizon Wireless driver was seen using a GSM handset while traversing the International Speedway."
Thomas: "My other car is a T-Mobile."
*Verizon is currently in the process of acquiring AOL, Engadget's parent company. However, Engadget maintains full editorial control, and Verizon will have to pry it from our cold, dead hands.