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[1.Local]: The epic rap battle comment war edition

Lisa Poisso
Updated

Reader comments – ahh, yes, the juicy goodness following a meaty post. [1.Local] ducks past the swinging doors to see what readers have been chatting about in the back room over the past week.

Wild applause! Mad QQing! The floodgates of Patch 3.2 information have opened, and the comments here at WoW.com reflect it. As much as we love a good debate, [1.Local] will be steering clear of the 3.2 threads -- after all, nothing's set in stone yet, and all the hue and cry begins to sound tiresomely similar after the third or forth topic.

Instead, let's start off this week's [1.Local] with a much more novel (and entertaining) method of presenting (and settling) differences of opinion: a comments rap battle.



How will the loot go down? The rap battle edition
It all begins with a single comment.

Mordockk: Some people are saying that this patch could go live in one month ... What do you guys think?

... This patch is the definition of welfare epics.

epsilon343: First off: Shut up. You give all raiders a bad name by QQing about "welfare epics" and crap like that. It doesn't affect you, so grow up and stop bitching about what other people can get in a game.

Secondly, gear from raiding can kinda be summed up by a comparison to buying technology. Let's say you bought an iPhone, then the iPhone 3G when it came out, and now you're going to buy the 3G S this weekend. Are you going to whine and complain to all the people who are going to buy a 3G S, just because they didn't need to buy the other two first? You made a conscious decision to raid what was best AT THE TIME. That is no longer relevant, and Blizzard is helping to keep the raiding population relatively close to each other by not allowing the new raiders be so far behind the current raiders that they can't ever hope to see the new content.

It's not like these people get to go line up and be handed their T8 for free. They still need to do some heavy farming just to get the gear that they need, and it won't be anywhere near as fun. I'd rather I got my gloves by learning and fighting Mimiron than running H-Nexus for two weeks straight. But at the end of the day, those players who are good at raiding will be available to raid instead of languishing inside Naxx.

Personally, the only reason I could see someone being worried about this is if they're afraid of these new raiders taking their spot...

The two readers each drop a couple of more posts baiting one another, before Mordockk pulls off the gloves.

Mordockk: So you just have a problem with people like me? Because you have some preconceived notion of who I am. My post was simple: "When do you think this patch will be live?" The comment about welfare epics was a mere statement that (though the common use of the word welfare and epics may be in bad taste ) the majority of WoW players would agree on.

Although I will say your comment was well thought-out and knowledgeable, I would like to point out that this must have been on your mind for a while and maybe you should have looked for someone who was also looking to argue the point you are trying to make, before you chose me to unload on. Congrats to you.

Would you like to have a rap battle?

Despite that tantalizing challenge, the thread turns back to the matter of loot. Both Mordockk and epsilon343 maintain radio silence -- until another reader cuts through the static.

impurezero: Epsilon rollin' with the 3-4-3,
Mad rap skillz will prove who the troll be.
Noobs snatchin' free epic loot like Ali Baba?
To see some real welfare, just check out Mordokk's momma!

Mordockk fires back immediately.

Mordockk: our rap battle would have been epic, that's true
but u diss my mama, now i gotta battle you
we were originally suppose to rap about trollin whores
so get off my mom, cuz i just got off of yours.

u just opend a can of worms that ur gonna start tastin'
cuz my rap skills are tighter than your DPS rotation
ya'll voted my comments and turned them black
so i gotta bust some rhymes now to keep my rep intact

write my first post and get pwned by epsilon
impurezero? that the amount of times u downed yogg-saron?
downing leet bosses is the real accomplishment and test
not pugging heroics for emblems of conquest

say what you want. call me an elitist, call me a prick
but who's the one replyin to my posts tryin to start some sh*
makin it so easy to get t8, that's such trash
should i quit now and just wait till the next patch?

the only way id see this new badge system stand a chance
is if you kissed my a** after i drop my t8.5 pants!
that being said, i dont care what you have to say
i just care about all the nerfs to my precious DK!

impurezero: EPIC! I'm just glad that my crappy attempt at starting a rap battle didn't go to waste. Mad props on this one. :)

Jafari: Impure, we are all in your debt.

Mordockk: :P nothin but love

Considering the topic of this post, we suspect Mordockk & Co. may indeed have nothin' but love.

How should WoW end?
We rarely cite Breakfast Topic comments in [1.Local] (What is this, anyway? The "All the News That We Rarely if Ever Print" edition?) simply because if you're inclined to chat a lot, you're probably going to have followed those posts closely anyway. This post about how WoW and your characters should meet their end, though, seemed to hit the "truth" button for a number of readers.

Cthulu: Since I play Horde, probably me on a mountain top after an epic battle with looking into the sunset, with a Blood Elf female by my side. The truth being ... the beast slain was Ghostcrawler, and the loot was a legendary Hunter weapon that everyone could equip and benefit from (but of course never use), probably named Nerf Bat. And for good measure, the Blood Elf female is actually a 32-year-old guy named Ralph, and I will be horrible scarred and dejected.

What's that tingling sensation? I do believe it's ... nothin' but love.

Epic achievements for normal runs
PuGs that require players to show proof of epic achievements in order to earn a spot in a normal run drives some players to retreat to a more friendly environment.

Peralas: This gear issue is one of the reasons I almost hung up my wand and quit WoW recently. The constant madness surrounding running instances to hopefully get gear, so you can run other instances to maybe get better gear, so you can run the hardest instances (again for better gear), is INSANE!

Every time a new expansion comes out, the PvE blues you can get from questing squash the previous expansion's epics. Will you have the "best in slot" items? No. Does it matter? To me, no! I'm not one of those who's interested in any world first, nor do I care for Arenas. I don't care about any Tier-N nonsense. I just want to have something enjoyable to do after coming home from work.

I finally cut the cord with my old guild and founded my own guild. It's just for my family, so we can spend more time questing together. No more multi-hour Naxx runs for me. Sanity has finally returned. And with the upcoming travel changes, I'm sure my wife and son will enjoy the "game" more.

We definitely felt that. Don't you feel the love?

We have a tabard
Our newest weekly feature, We have a tabard, is designed to help guild leaders, officers and members achieve their goals in a cooperative guild experience. The [1.Local] crowd roundly approved of the new column's name, which provoked a round of stories about humorous guild names and tabard designs.

Talia: I'm a fairly recent GL of a new guild that's trying to recruit, and with our silly name (Vegemite Sandwiches), we've been pretty abused in the process, down to being called "obnoxious retards" in a forum thread. (No, I hadn't posted anything but your basic run-of-the-mill recruitment spiel; it was definitely just triggered by the name.) The way I see it, it helps to weed out people with no sense of fun.

And yeah, we have a pretty awesome tabard. :)

We see what you did there, you with the tabard -- but do you feel the love?

Nothin' but love, right here on [1.Local] -- until next week!

Ahhh ... the fresh meat of a juicy comment. [1.Local] ducks past the swinging doors to see what readers have been chatting about in the back room over the past week. Don't just scroll away -- come join the conversation on these and other posts around the WoW.com community.