King Dred demonstrated how he earned his title in this week's Two Bosses Enter, One Boss Leaves, shredding Jedoga Shadowseeker with nearly three-fourths of the reader vote. Delightfully, quite a few fans stepped up to the plate this week with their own versions of how this deathmatch would go down. Let's look at a few of the more entertaining narratives.
Blasterion: The face-off: Jedoga calls for her minions, while Dred calls one raptor to combat. Dred Grievous Bites Jedoga, as well as puts up his other debuffs. Jedoga calls for her first minion to be sacrificed. Dred uses his fear; the minion runs around while the raptor minion and Dred pick him off. DELICIOUS.
Jedoga comes down, irritated how her minions were weak. She casts Thundershock and kills the raptor. The minions to their masters are different; to Jedoga, her minions are tools, but to Dred, his raptors are loyal subjects. Enraged, Dred savagely destroys Jedoga and the rest of her minions. DELICIOUS.
Jedoga Shadowseeker, giving a sermon, is rudely interrupted by a terrified cultist. Quakes have opened the roof, and something ... big ... is coming.
Dred spies the cultists milling about and charges in, roaring. The cultists are shredded in moments, and a Scytheclaw has followed Dred down. Jedoga Shadowseeker lands, attacking with all the fury of a priestess of Yogg-Saron. Overmatched, though slaying the smaller Raptor, she levitates and prepares to sacrifice a worshiper. Dred snaps at her, then sees another raptor has joined in and sees some food near the ground. The "chosen" is devoured by the Devilsaur.
Jedoga Shadowseeker lands atop the smaller raptor and swiftly slays it. Dred raises his claws menacingly and badly mauls the Shadowseeker. She responds with a mighty Cyclone Strike, which sends Dred reeling. Seeing an opening, a cultist is sacrificed.
Empowered by her god, Jedoga Shadowseeker launches atop Dred and strikes with deadly precision. Dred, snarling, throws the troublesome cult leader to the side and raises his claws for the killing strike. Jedoga Shadowseeker tries the sacrifice another cultist, but Dred, seeing the small figure, roars with unearthly fury. The very walls of the ancient city tremble, and the cultists flee. Dred turns back to the Shadowseeker, and crushes the life out of her with massive talons.
Roaring in triumph, the rest of the raptor pack enters the ruins and sets off after the terrified cultists. Between the Raptors and the Scourge, none survive. Dred sets off home to Drak'tharon Keep with his pack, well fed from gorging on the Twilight Hammer.
adl5: So Dred comes roaring in and all and is about to bite off Jedoga's head when, in a flash of brilliance, remembers from Jurassic Park that if you don't move, Tyrannasaurii can't see you. King Dred stands there for several moments, clearly frustrated by Jedoga's sudden disappearance into thin air. Unfortunately for Jedoga, though, raptors can see you when you stand still, and it charges in to attack.
She immediately shields herself and calls for a sacrifice. Unfortunately, her minion lacks her knowledge of Jurrasic Park and tries to run when he sees a rather large and agitated dinosaur. Needless to say, his service to Jedoga ends shortly.
Jedoga drops down without her sacrifice, but luckily both the raptor and the T-rex have gone off to eat her acolyte. She prepares a killing blow to finish the raptor. Apparently, though, she forgot in the chaos that raptors hunt in packs. Two raptors fly in from the left and the right of her and ... well, you get the idea.
King Dred and his dinosaurs win the day, and the instance is renamed "The Old Kingdom: Jurassic Park."
Too long? Didn't read? Just for you, we'll conclude with the short version:
Jedoga: I attack with organized religion!
Dred: I attack with a giant claw!