Hey, real quick -- are you a registered member of the Sierra Club? What about PETA? If you answered yes to either, we're going to kindly ask that you continue scrolling down the page while whistling heartily and "looking the other way." This week's roundup of
horribly crappy gadgets involves far too many innocent animals, from a USB-infused tortoise that doubles as an ashtray to a tank of jellyfish that only receive their nutrients when the USB cable is connected. And then there's the Elmo that's forced to do sit-ups while your data transfers onto his feeble brain. It's sick, really. Once you're over the shock and horror, feel free to cast your vote below for the lamest of the lame -- and feel free to consult and / or hold a friend if necessary.
Read - USB tortoise hub / ashtray
Read - USB jellyfish tank
Read - Panda USB hub
Read - USB Crunching Elmo
Read - USB Chocolate Popsicle drive
Crapgadget: which is the king of lame?| USB tortoise hub / ashtray | 895 (18.9%) |
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| USB jellyfish tank | 768 (16.3%) |
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| Panda USB hub | 397 (8.4%) |
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| USB Crunching Elmo | 1817 (38.5%) |
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| USB Chocolate Popsicle drive | 847 (17.9%) |
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posted July 19th 2009 10:42PM
The suggestive motions that elmo could be making will win him this poll
agreed. the first thought in my head when I looked at that was:Wow...... Really? Did no one think about what this could look like?
I laughed at Elmo when I saw him showing his gigantic usb p--
W-What are you looking at?
God. Elmo's shirt saying 'Non-Stop!'?
What has been seen...
I
You love what?
An ashtray? AWESOME! Now a device to push my beloved porn to a thumb drive for covert viewing at work AND a place to park my doob while doing it!
In the infamous words of the king of doobage...
"The dude abides..."
the gadget is simply not environmentally friendly enough.... they should retrieve excess heat from the ciggies to power something else.
Like an electric ciggie lighter or an automatic fattie roller...
But it's got a stapler!
Elmo- not even a discussion.
I thought the jellyfish tank was kind of cool...
If it had a few ports on the front instead of just taking up one I'd consider actually buying one...
I thought this supposed to be king of the LAME, not the best out of the lot.....
What the heck is a "stapless stapler"? I mean, wouldn't it be "stapleless" which isn't a real word either, but at least office supply stores think it is. Plus the whole ashtray thing, which, you know... if you COULD smoke in an office any more, and you were going to smoke at your desk, would you really want to be tipping your ashes into an electronic device? Add in the whole ugly-looking aspect, and for my part, the turtle is a big winner for the Lame crown.
I was wondering the same thing! What the hell is a stapless stapler?! I've never heard of that before. Stapless or stapleless, however you wanna spell it. And while I know there are still many people that smoke, the ashtray/USB hub combo just doesn't seem to fit together
it's a common gadget. it perforates the papers and kind of folds the perforations onto themselves, so the pages stick together. it sort of works, but the devices always break quickly.
Damn, I'd feel guilty sticking anything into that poor panda... taking stuff out would make me fel like I was ripping its legs off!
I think they're all super cute, but I guess the popsicle is the least cute.
But I'm not going to vote in your poll since none of them are crap.
The King of Cute is the turtle.
The person who made the elmo one should be tried for crimes against humanity. It's that simple.
No! It's based on the "Tickle me... there!" Elmo.
The turtle USB hub/ash tray has a stapler mouth! That's not "crap", that's awesome!
About the jellyfish: water plus computers is not a good combination.
About the panda: They didn't even bother to give him legs. And the eyes are horrifying. So, a paraplegic robot. Nice.
Watercooling?
I for one welcome our cybernetic turtle overlords.
Would never have guessed that Elmo had a square schlong.
Actually... would be kinda funny to see Elmo plugged into the Panda or Tortise! He'll hump anything!
People, you're missing the point! How can you be voting for Humptastic Elmo as "lamest of the lame"? There's some serious fun factor involved in that device.
Oh, and I think the point of the panda is for USB devices to be its bionic legs. In my opinion, this makes it too creepy to be "lame".
I'm still rooting for the faux-stapler headed, ashtray turtle with USB legs.
I have the jellyfish one, as my GF thought it would make a cute Christmas present.
I'm open to offers..
I think the panda is the crappiest, because it's just USB 1.1. Although a panda with no legs would be kinda slow...
i voted for the panda because it has USB drives for legs and that freaks me out!
Ahem.
I've now got a turtle on the way. More a case of poor advertising than "crapgadget" - Perfectly useful if you repurpose the ashtray as an SD or thumb drive tray. Would be doubly useful if they'd made the mouth something a bit more, well, useful: SDHC reader anyone?
Poor build quality and no packing material at all in the envelope - One of the legs came pre-busted. Yay Crapgadget!?
IMHO, 'lame' would be the one with no practical use. Since all of them are at the minimum useful as either a hub or storage except the jellyfish tank, that is my vote for the lamest.
An acceptable breakdown of the situation.
Hmm... stapler mouth = fangs. USB legs for retractable cables. Ashtray shell = interior flames. That's no turtle, that's Gamera!
So much lameness, and only one vote. Mein herz brennt.
Lame has no king, it's a society of equals is what you are saying
You mean, do I think Lame is an anarcho-syndicalist commune? That supreme executive power comes from a mandate of the masses, not some farcical aquatic ceremony? No, I don't think Lameness can be attributed to moistened bints nor watery tarts.
The Popsicle scares the poop out of me. Imagine using one of those around a 5 year old. How long before the real thing is shoved into every USB slot in the house?
Teaches you to not let little kids near USB ports.
You could also make a toy with USB ports that gives you a jolt when you touch them and give it to the kid, he'll soon learn I imagine >:)
The turtle and the panda are kind of cute :)