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Dear Activision's Bobby Kotick,

So, I heard through the DJ grapevine that you're looking for new talent for the next DJ Hero game. I'd like to submit my own name into the running: That is to say, the name of Willups "Mellow Jam" Dupree. See, the corporate bigwigs who designed the last game said they tried to incorporate every type of disc-jockeying around. Tell me, then -- how did they manage to completely overlook my area of expertise, and arguably the type of DJ that people are most commonly exposed to: Wedding Entertainers?

Sure, we don't do -- what do the kids call them? -- mash-ups. Still, it's just as hard to play the right songs in the right order. You think you can just play "YMCA," then hit 'em with an "Electric Slide," then tie the whole thing together with an "(I've Had) The Time of My Life?" That's bush league, man. With Mellow Jam's experienced hand on the rudder, you'd know to never chase an interactive dance song with another interactive dance song -- especially not before busting out the Dirty Dancing soundtrack.

Give me a ring if you don't want to miss out on this important facet of the DJ lifestyle. Or if anyone you know is getting married soon.

-- Willups "Mellow Jam" Dupree

This article was originally published on Joystiq.

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