Wise old Miss America says kids should go back to playing with sticks

[TMZ]
Who is the real Caressa Cameron? Winner of this past weekend's 2010 Miss America pageant, this 22-year-old Virginia native was, at one point, one of us (Exhibit A: high school yearbook photo circa 2002; pictured left). But, somehow, through some unfortunate series of events, she changed -- she became an outsider (Exhibit B: Miss America; pictured right).

Newly crowned, Cameron took to the pulpit spewing her outdoorsy blasphemy onto an unsuspecting audience, disturbed from their relaxed seated positions within a temperature-controlled climate. She shouted, "take away the video games, set some standards for our children!" and construed a preposterous account of the mid-90s when kids were "playing imaginary games with sticks in the street like I did when I was little."

Lies! Admit it, Cameron. You were playing PlayStation. And when you weren't doing that, you were playing Nintendo 64! And when you weren't doing that, you were probably begging daddy to get you a Sega Saturn (perhaps his heartless "No!" signaled the beginning of your innocent forays out of the den?).

Poor child, what ill-gotten desire led you from the indoors? Alas, Cameron may be lost to us, but she has unwittingly strengthened our numbers by providing us with an addictive new game concept sure to keep kids inside for years to come:

Joystiq Publishing is pleased to announce the multiplatform game on the year, Stick to the Streetz, for Nintendo Wii, Sony Playstation 3 PlayStation Motion Controller, and Microsoft Xbox 360 Project Natal. Grab your "stick" and wave it in 1:1 real-time, motion-capture accuracy as you imagine a brilliant game perfectly recreated in your living room television display. Take that Miss America!

This article was originally published on Joystiq.