Dev declares war on World of Warcraft
Well, he did it: [dev position] [developer name] stuck a foot in [his/her] mouth today by saying that [Game X]'s [feature] was far superior to World of Warcraft's, and Blizzard can just kiss [his/her] grits.
Speaking from an undisclosed location deep in [geographical location], [developer name] calmly reloaded a sniper rifle as a deterrent against opinionated players. "Let's face it, gamers are like [domesticated farm animal]. The grass that hasn't been grown yet is surely more tasty than the one they're chewing, and they're going to bleat about it no matter how many times the farmer -- that's me -- hits them over the head with a calm-me-down [farm implement]. That's why they should just meekly flock together to play [Game X] and shut their gobs about how everything has to relate to World of Warcraft. According to playground rules, we rule and you all drool."
Blizzard's lawyers, armed with the latest fully automatic briefs, suited up for an assault. "[Game X] and [developer name] are now Public Enemy Number One, and we encourage WoW players everywhere to take up vigilante justice against this blasphemy. Long live World of Warcraft! Long live World of [something-craft]! Whoops, we really shouldn't have said that last one."
The U.N. has convened to discuss the developing crisis, but Canadian councilman [funny name] feels powerless to stop the two juggernauts from shredding each other like [insect]. "We can only hope and pray, eh?" he said.
Games Journalism sure is hard work, so we've decided to take a break today and let you write your own news! Too many stories about RIFT on Massively lately? Not enough about the game of your choice? No problem! Much in the style of Mad Libs, today is your day to create the news you want to read, all day on the :30s. Simply fill in the blanks and it's yours. Have fun!
