Bulletstorm, it was a pile of meat, hair, and teeth with a prominent "do not consume" sticker on it. Today's package, while nearly as inscrutable, at least sheds the "do not consume" warning, which is a step in the right direction as far as we're concerned. At the end of this post is a new Bulletstorm video spoofing Halo 3's now famous "Believe" diorama commercial; however, if you want to see it you'll need to walk the same path we did. Come, join us, as we journey deep inside The Box.
Okay, so it's a wooden crate. After our previous experience with Bulletstorm mailings, we were honestly half-expecting a box full of severed penises. (Penii?).
Phew! It's just a bunch of hay and leaves (wait, what?) ... but there's something in the corner.
What is that? Glasses and a business card holder?
Yes, we realize some gloves would've been advisable at this point, but we were too caught up in the moment. It's a mini briefcase! And those latches totally work! Think about it, somewhere on planet Earth these things are manufactured, and EA Partners' marketing people tracked them down.
It looks like a bunch of dollhouse-sized bottles. Let's use that magnifying glass to get a better look.
It's a bunch of mini-booze, a shot glass, a mini bottle of maraschino cherries, and some mini-aspirin.
But what's that bottle of aspirin have written on it? Graysonbelieves.com, eh? A quick tappity tap into the ol' web browser, and we were directed to a private YouTube vid of the below video, the aforementioned spoof of the Halo 3 diorama ad. Sure, they could've sent over a link to the video, saved the FedEx guy a trip up the stairs, and saved a lot of waste from ending up right in the trash can, but did you even bother to think about the mini-briefcase manufacturing industry? Now, enjoy.