This latest MacBook version features shave-able USB ports, an eye-enhanced camera, keratinized keyboard and is available with a flesh-like surface that sheds monthly. The latest notebook to grace Apple's illustrious lineup also includes advanced auditory controls that provide users with life-like reactions, such as snoring when put to sleep, yelling when woken up and moaning when the battery is low.
This spectacle of a device is available in 13-, 15- and 17-inch models that are powered by a 2.4 GHz Intel Core 2 Duo processor. Pricing for the 13-inch model will begin at $1299. Accessories for preventing systemic bacterial infection, cleaning the DVD teeth and curtailing arousal will be available soon after launch.
For all the gory details, click through to The Onion and prepare