Drama Mamas: 51 more things you should (probably) never say in game
Attention, literalists: As you probably noticed from the comments on last week's column, these are not things that should never never be said in game. They're more things that should probably never be said in game. Or sometimes just not said in game until you've thought about them first. Or maybe only said in game if there aren't other extenuating circumstances or unless common sense would dictate something completely different.
Context is king, right?
Here are a bunch more things you should (probably) never say in game. Robin's even brought in a fresh take on the infamous #7 from last week. (It's at #7 this week, too.) Click the links on each entry if you want more context. Click, click.
"Well, maybe we should give her another chance or three -- after all, she's gay/young/old/single/a parent ..." Your fellow players are real people with real lives and real problems, sure -- but at some point, inappropriate or downright bad behavior is simply not cool.
"It's just a game. Real life should be separate from a guild." Are you guilded with real people? Then it's real life. The game is just the medium you are using to interact with them.
"I just think everyone/another party should know about the bad things that this person is doing..." Big yellow caution flag. Nothing good can come from butting into a situation in which you're only a bystander without complete information. Appropriate action -- then back off!
"It should be a rule that everyone has to say hello to guildies when they log on. And they need to grats everyone too." Gosh, wouldn't that be sincere and meaningful. /sarcasm
"What I said was only words -- and besides, he deserved it." That's what an online environment is, "only words." Those words and their effects are still quite real. Don't take an eye for an eye in WoW. Nobody deserves poor behavior in return for mistakes of their own.
"Well, I never exactly said that ..." In the world of TextCraft, it's up to you to make sure you say what you mean, not simply mean what you think you said.
"I need to AFK during a boss fight because of a completely foreseeable interruption. Oh well, real life > WoW." Either take care of foreseeable interruptions ahead of time, or arrange with someone else to be available while you're grouping. The other four/nine/24 people you are grouped with have real lives too.
" I can't believe none of you @#$^ing n00bs can stay out of the @#%&ing fire long enough to get this $%&#ing boss down." When you find yourself this far out of sync with your groupmates, consider this: Maybe it's not them.
"WoW is going downhill, and the expansion is only going to make it worse. You people aren't stupid enough to resub, are you?" If that is your opinion, play another game or activity. But why say it in guild chat, in trade chat, on forums, on WoW Insider, etc.? Are you trying to make yourself feel better about your decision?
"And bad mistakes, I've made a few ... But I'm sorry! I'm sorry already! Why isn't anyone listening?" Oh, they heard you all right. After a nasty string of issues, though, sometimes you have to change more than your behavior.
"You claim to not have enough time, you don't want to be on a strict raid schedule, and you don't want to lose exalted with your guild -- but please leave the guild and start progression raiding with me again." Please respect your friend's decision and join a raiding guild yourself if it means that much to you. You can't spell badger without bad. You know, because it's bad to badger your friends.
"But I was just trying to help." We all know the old saw about too many cooks in the kitchen. If you're butting into guild or raid business, make sure you're not stepping on anyone's toes -- or nerves.
"How dare you use that kind of language in a place where my child can read it?" Well, it depends what channel it was and what your child was doing looking at it.
"I typically just wait till the first boss is killed to see how loot works." Then don't be surprised when loot drama happens. Decide on loot rules at the beginning of a run.
"Hi. As you can finally hear, I'm, umm, a girl." As Robin says, don't worry about being a girl. Worry about being uber.
"I would never let trade chat trolls get away with that nonsense." Oh, hai, we recognize you -- you're part of the problem.
"I know my RP partner is just a character, but I think I'm falling in love ..." Don't try to deny your feelings. You are falling in love -- but only with a character.
"I need help on this quest. [/adds guildie to group without asking]" Good luck with that.
"Are you a boy or a girl IRL?" If you're just grouping together, does it matter? If you're looking for some hot whispering, you have no guarantees that you will get the truth -- nor do you have any guarantees this stranger is of consenting age.
"Hey, why haven't any of the officers made an announcement about what they decided to do about Soandso's being accused of ...?" Guys, guys, guys ... We don't drag guild business and drama out into public chat channels.
"I'm not having fun because my guild [insert valid complaint here]. But I'll stick it out anyway." Leave. Stay friends with the people you like. If you're not having fun, then you are not getting the benefits of your leisure time.
To a female guildie you barely know: "You sound really hot. Can I have a picture of you?" That's not OK. Don't do it. Same with asking for contact info or sending erotic messages without permission.
"I can see that my presence here is causing problems, so I'm just going to leave now because I like you all and don't want to bother anybody." Dropping guild tags under pretense of not creating drama creates more drama. Don't run away.
In a quiet guild chat: "Hey sis! [insert personal conversation that is no one else's business here]" If you want to hang out via chat, do so privately. Don't spam up guild chat with conversations no one else can participate in.
"Everyone else has a wait in the queue; therefore, they have to do what I say if they don't want to wait." Tank entitlement? Yeah, we've seen some.
"Guild chat is always quiet. They must hate me!" It's not all about you. Also, they coulld be chatting on Vent or Mumble.
"I don't want to talk right now." We feel the same quite a bit, actually, so we can relate -- and we have some better ways of letting others know now's not a good time to chat.
"I love you even though I'm with someone else. But it's not cheating because we only talk in game." /buzzer I'm sorry, the correct answer is that of course it's cheating! Go fix or end your relationship, and thank you for playing.
"No way. I don't raid. I have no idea how to do all that stuff." It's gotten even easier to ease into raiding since we wrote about it.
"/ooc I have feelings for you just like my pally has for your priest. I know you say you don't feel the same way, but our characters get along so well, we will too!" Keep your roleplayed characters separate from the real you. Or have your characters fall in love with NPCs -- so much safer for your in-game relationships and your own heart.
"I don't like the way that guy acts. I'll votekick him." Why do some players feel far too sexy for their groups?
"My wife and I are back. Sorry we were gone for a while, but she had multiple affairs. I've allowed her to come back and now we're ready to get back to raiding!" Gah! This is no one's business! Gah!
"I only have certain people on Read ID. [long silence]" Even with the addition of BattleTag support in 5.0.4, the touchy issue of making connections takes a light touch.
In a BG:"You guys suck. We're going to lose." Shut up and win.
"I want my wife to play WoW with me." Do you know the difference between "my wife plays WoW with me," "I play WoW with my wife," and "my wife and I play WoW together"?
"I don't enjoy playing WoW anymore, but I'm staying in to talk to my friend who won't talk about anything else." Use any number of other chat options to chat with your friend while you're doing something you enjoy.
"[the N word]" Gamers are sick and tired of players who assume they can get away with hate speech in an online game.
"If I don't follow you while you're gathering mats, I don't know what to farm." Look it up. Determine your own farming strategy. Don't be a parasite.
"So I'll just log on to his account when he's busy ..." While our original letter-writer in this situation had nefarious intentions, you should never share account information. Period.
"I find the anonymity of the dungeon and raid finder intimidating because few people take the time to explain the fights." Read up on the fights yourself.
"I think you'd be happier if you'd play with us this way." In a game that people play for fun, most players have reasons for playing the way they do. Remember "less QQ, more pewpew"? Try "less talking, more listening."
Without warning: "Here are our new and much more complicated roleplaying rules, effective starting now." Yes, you're the GM, but changes like this need to be discussed with the RP guild as a whole -- if only to allow the guildies to prepare.
"LAWL Sorry we wiped man LOL too drunk to stop laughing at SRS BZNZ strategy ZOMG LOL" A few drinks among consenting adults is fine -- but what if not everyone consents?
"I'm going to punch you in the face if you don't [insert demand here]." Unless you're talking to Deathwing, making threats not only is wrong but can get you a ban from a GM, if reported.
"LOL" Yeah, really: LOL. Beware the surprising power of a poorly placed LOL.
"You should be leading the raid this way." Discuss strategies with the raid leader either before or after the raid, not during a raid and never in public.
"[silence -- although your presence online should imply that you want people to befriend and want to play with you, right?]" If you want to make new friends, you need to actually be friendly.
"I'm back after being gone for 14 months to take care of real life things. So please give me GM back. Oh and I don't like all the changes you made in my absence." It's not your guild anymore. Either work with the new regime or start your own guild again.
"Hey, I had a little extra time, so I leveled up my guy a little extra this weekend. But it's just 10 levels. Or so." When you agree to level up along with someone, every little bit matters.
"I know I was sick last week, guys, and the week before that. I'm just not feeling good again tonight. But I think I'll probably feel better next week. Or maybe the week after that." If you need a break from the game, it's better to just come out and say so.
"I'm very upset with my guild. I'll go rant about it on Facebook." The internet is forever. You have a problem? Deal with it in private, not by shouting to the world at large.
Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with advice from the Drama Mamas. Remember, your mama wouldn't want to see your name on any drama. Play nice ... and when in doubt, ask the Drama Mamas at robin@wowinsider.com.
