"Uncle Grumpy wrote me?" Throgg peered at the letter. "He did! You should read it to me."
Lolegolas stared piercingly at the disconcertingly chipper orc. "I know you can read this."
"Reading isn't my thing."
"That's fine, writing clearly wasn't your uncle's thing. What language is this even in? Lok'tar thaal'kit sha'suun anariel... is that trollish and goblin in the same sentence?"
"Oh, it's in warriorese. Uncle doesn't really remember how to speak anything else. Took too many blows to the head. Just skip down to the bottom, it'll get to the point there." Throgg ignored the ever increasing piercing quality of the stare Lolegolas was leveling on him.
"All right then... let's see if I can find anything like words in this thing... Me go to big bear land. Boat sink. Me walk on bottom of water. Lots of bears. Many beers with bears. Go to Yak house, help yak kill bugs. Get pants. Good pants. Me draw picture of pants. You need get good pants. Are you warmly dress in pants? Pants useful. You come here, to bear land, and we drink beers with bears and get pants. Pants covered in tree goo, makes them strong." The blood elf blinked several times. Had he actually said that out loud? Had anyone else heard him say that out loud?
"You know what this means!?"
"That your uncle is legally dead?"
"No, that my friend Stinky. This means we're going on an adventure!" Throgg leapt to his axe cupboard, immediately pulling out various axes and tossing them over his shoulder. "What axe goes best with new pants?"
Item Notes: They're tanking pants, they drop in the siege of Niuzao Temple, and they are indeed encrusted with sap. Despite this, they vendor for 24 gold 16 silver 40 copper.
Phat Loot Phriday brings you the scoop on some of the most ... interesting ... loot in the World of Warcraft, often viewed through the eyes of the stalwart Throgg and indelible Lolegolas. Suggest items you think we should feature by emailing firstname.lastname@example.org.