You see, I think I'm a good element for the guild. I'm one of the core healers because I'm the only one who has attended every raid since I joined (the other healers either can't log in on raid nights or spend their time leveling alts). When they're not available we have to PuG healers and they usually have "bad" gear (blues or even greens) or they don't know the fights and end up dying a few minutes into the fight so I end up picking up the slack. I know healing meters aren't a good way to rate the performance of us healers, but sometimes I can't help but feel frustrated when I see I did between 55 - 60% of all healing done.
Drama Mama Robin:
Now, I always study the fights we're going to attempt, do heavy research about my class and how to improve and I spend some of my lunch time studying videos of our own fights so I know if I did something wrong, etc. I'm not perfect but I do my best as to not fail to mechanics. Outside of raiding time I do my best to get my own flasks, gems, enchants, the +300 food and whatever upgrade I can get with valor or LFR.
My main issue with the guild is that since we started attempting Elegon one of the officers is always going on about how we can't do that fight because our gear sucks. This upsets me because a) he's one of the two raid members who fails at mechanics like avoiding cobalt mines, flanking orders, attenuation, forgets to reset his stack of overcharged, etc; and b) gets mad if he loses a roll on something he wanted.
When I propose they changed the loot rules they just told me to stop passing on everything and that made me mad. You see, if an item drops and it's only a minor upgrade to me (say +40 spirit) compared to someone else replacing a green, I'll pass so they can get it because they'll get more out of it. Maybe they're right because I've never gotten an item since I started raiding with them (all of my gear has come from valor, LFR or heroics) but I still feel upset when the same guys win loot week after week and then complain that the others have such crappy gear.
I know it's shallow to think like this but I've been actually considering looking for another guild where the loot rules are a little bit more fair, but I'm unsure because I know I might been as a loot wh*** and I feel that I might also be in the wrong here, which is why I've come to you for advice. So please, help! D:
Loot rules are a very important part of raiding. The feeling of achievement after downing a boss is all well and good, but the real point is to get the goodies. How those goodies are distributed can make or break a guild. Some loot systems are better than others, depending on the type of raid team. Loot councils can work well for large progression guilds, for example, but can cause nothing but drama for small, casual teams. Regardless of what the loot rules are, they need to be followed by everyone or else drama ensues.
The fact is, you are not following your guild's loot rules and are therefore causing loot drama. If the rule is to roll on all upgrades for your main spec, then you should roll on all upgrades for your main spec. Deciding to do your own version of a loot council on the side -- "Oh, he can use that more than me and that's how loot should be distributed so I'll pass." -- is a rather passive aggressive protest. If you are deciding to raid with these people, you should play by their rules, else you are being That Loot Drama Guy.
That having been said, if you think the loot rules aren't working and that's why your guild doesn't progress as fast as it should, it does not in any way make you a greedy loot goblin to want to go to a guild where the loot rules suit you better. You seem very dissatisfied with your fellow raiders anyway, so even if they agreed to change the loot rules, your complaints would not cease.
As a side note, do yourself a favor, and stop stressing about doing better than your fellow healers. Your impatience to do their jobs for them actually reduces their numbers, skewing the health meters in your favor. So many heals work very differently from each other that your healing a target a split second sooner than your teammates could render their otherwise timely heals useless. Teamwork is your friend.
Back to the loot: start shopping around. Apply to a guild that has the loot rules you feel are fair. Be sure to leave your current guild in a drama-free way
, then be happy in your better gear and faster progression.
Drama Mama Lisa:
Once upon a time, there were two mages. Like you, both of them were key players in their guild, a content-breaking progression guild at the dawn of its world's raiding curve. While both of the mages were very well geared, one of the mages (we'll call her "Selfish Little Twit") had put in a mind-boggling number of hours to farm several rare pre-raiding pieces. The other mage (let's call this hypothetical player "Drama Mama Lisa") had nice armor too, but not those particular, exceedingly rare drops.
More than anything, Selfish Little Twit wanted to upgrade her robe. As the guild began to see some of the more common raid drops, since she had a few marginally nicer pre-raid best-in-slots there, it was easy for her to magnanimously declare, "I'll pass on this for our dear Drama Mama Lisa." However, Selfish Little Twit wasn't passing because she had a kind heart; she was passing because she wanted to stockpile guild good will for when the robe dropped, ensuring it would go to her. The problem was, Drama Mama Lisa didn't much care for all this supposed generosity. She just wanted to roll on all the drops like any other player, rather than being forced to take leftovers and then automatically shut out of a chance at the robe.
Because the guild did not have firm loot rules in place, things did not go well for Selfish Little Twit, Drama Mama Lisa, and their robes – and neither will they go well for you, Shallow Guy, unless you come to terms with the way your expectations are running into your guild's loot rules.
Your guild has a loot system that its members seem pleased with. You need to follow those rules, and quit trying to sabotage the system with your false generosity and sandbagging "passes." You also need to let go of the sense of entitlement you've acquired based on your laudable preparation and performance. While those are both admirable traits, your guild's loot system is not designed to reward them.
You're not wrong in wanting something different, Shallow Guy, but you are
wrong in trying to guilt-trip it onto a guild that's clearly happy with the system it has. I cast my vote with Robin: Time to look for a new guild.
Drama Mamas: How to find a World of Warcraft guild
Obviously, one of the top priorities of your guild search will be researching the loot rules of any guilds you're considering. I'm absolutely certain you'll find one with a system you're comfortable with. Good luck, and let us know how it goes!
Drama Mamas' quick loot system guide
Dodge the drama and become that player everyone wants in their group with a little help and insight from the Drama Mamas. Play nice ... and when in doubt, ask the Drama Mamas at firstname.lastname@example.org. Read Robin's section of this post on how to get your letter answered and please remember that we cannot answer privately.