Rumor Roundup: Bad at math

This past week was light on rumors but still managed to pack in plenty worth picking apart. A last-minute entry, the supposed "iPhone math" is a particularly good knee-slapper rumor. It's got everything: sketchy Asian source, potential mistranslation, and every last ounce of logic checked at the door. Actually... that's about average for Apple rumors.

Home button fingerprint sensor in 'iPhone 5S' would give Apple a new leg up on the competition (AppleInsider)

Some analyst thinks Apple will integrate a fingerprint sensor into the next-gen iPhone's Home button. He doesn't have any actual proof, mind you -- not even the always accurate "checks with supply chain sources" -- so he could have said the next iPhone will use powdered unicorn horn for its antenna assembly and had about as much credibility.

Apple's next 9.7" iPad to be 'significantly lighter and slimmer' (AppleInsider)

Hey, look! It's the same analyst, with the same source: thin air and his imagination.

Apple's iPhone business may have already peaked (BGR)

Two analysts are a week late to the party, predicting DOOM for Apple's iPhone business. Guys, that's last week's news. This week, Apple's doomed for an entirely different reason. Get with the times.

Reuters claims Sharp has all but stopped producing iPad Retina displays (9to5 Mac)

Oh no! One of the three suppliers for the full-sized iPad's display has "nearly halted production!" The other two suppliers haven't seen any significant cuts, but don't let that stop us (where "us" means Reuters) from speculating that the iPad mini is cannibalizing sales of the full-sized iPad so much that Apple literally doesn't need to make it anymore...

Apple users have been accused of cult-like behavior for decades, but this constant doomsaying from the media seems far more cultish to me. "Look, man, I read the signs, and when the moon is in the seventh house, the sky will be as black as sackcloth, and no one will buy iPhones anymore, and Apple will fall."

4.8-inch iPhone 'Math' reports don't add up (9to5 Mac)

This rumor is such a train wreck that 9to5 Mac took the time to pick it to shreds instead of swallowing it whole and reporting it without reservation. Good on them. I don't have much to add aside from what they've written on the subject of a 4.8-inch iPhone "math" except this: if even for a moment you thought it plausible that Apple would release a product called the iPhone math, please seek medical assistance immediately. A subdural hematoma is nothing to trifle with.