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"If you're an '80s guy like me, then you know it's important to be a shark. That means getting up, choking down a double espresso and listening to Huey Lewis. Then it's time to hit the trading floor and make a cool hundred mil or something before dinner. Lunch? Lunch is for wimps. Talking about wimps, those hipsters who use Native Union's Pop retro smartphone handset are scum. Me? I'm all about the Binatone Brick. Cram in a SIM card and you can make calls on this thing AND play Snake (I mean, we are living in the future) even while riding the elevator. But pair it over Bluetooth to your smartphone, and you'll impress everyone when you're walking and talking. It'll launch soon for you mere mortals, priced at £50 in the UK with a 1,000mAh battery, but for a big-shot like me who's always making deals, I'm holding out for the 2,000mAh version that'll come later for £80. Oh, and one more thing -- in the time it took you to read this, I just bought San Marino."

-G. Gekko

Mr. Gekko's views are entirely his own and do not reflect those of Engadget or AOL.

The Brick hands-on

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Dana Wollman learned during this report that greed, for want of a better word, is good.

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BINATONE UNVEILS THE BRICK AT IFA 2013

September 2013, London, United Kingdom – Binatone have today announced the launch of a new retro styled mobile phone, The Brick, which has been inspired by the designs - and size - of the very first mobile phones.

Recognising the recent surge in popularity of fashion trends from the 80s, and evoking memories of power dressing and Wall Street, Binatone has captured the era with a phone that has the styling of early cellular devices coupled with the functionality required for today's technology consumer.

The Brick features an impressive battery life, with up to 1-month standby on the standard model and up to 3 months on the Power Edition. By using the XXL Brick accessory battery, the standby time can be up to 6 months!

The Brick is a 2-in-1 phone, which as the first of its kind, can be used as a mobile phone or a Bluetooth handset linked to a smartphone. It can access the smartphone's contacts and music, allowing it to call through the smartphone device and play music through its powerful speaker.

The Brick will be available to buy from early October in the UK and France initially, with a European rollout planned thereafter.

Also planned for launch is Brick 4Home Edition, a DECT home telephone with the same vintage styling and a notable 1km phone range.

"In a world where mobile phones are getting smaller and smaller, we have set out to create a completely unique product which is bigger, bulkier and aimed at those who want to wear their phone as a style statement," said Binatone CEO, Dino Lalvani.

"As a company with 55 years of experience in electronics we feel proud and privileged to be the first to launch a truly retro styled mobile phone."

The Brick will debut at IFA 2013 in Berlin, Germany on 4th September to the press and to consumers from 6th – 11th September 2013, in Hall 7.2c, Booth 103.

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Binatone's Brick phone was acceptable in the '80s (hands-on)