Chaos Theory: Cramming your Krampus in before TSW's holidays end

Chaos Theory:  Cramming your Krampus in before TSW's holidays end
Christmas 2013 -- it's quite a different experience in The Secret World than in other MMORPGs. Instead of offering some colorful cutesy characters based on the jolliest aspects of the season, TSW's festivities draw on the darkest parts of our lore to bring you a Christmas devil, a demoness, and undead Mayans. The only carol you hear is a twisted Jingle Bells whispered in the hellish Niflheim dimension, though wave after wave of horny Hel jokes fill the air. But even with all the differences, one thing is definitely the same: the stress of running around trying to get things done in time!

As much as I am grateful that a form of last year's End of Days event has returned (I did ask for it after all), the fact that there are three events -- A Mother of a Season, Ever-Ending Days, and Whispering Tide -- happening simultaneously is a bit overwhelming. Add the whole real-life part of the holiday season to the evil RNG, and I am truly scrambling to complete my holiday wish list of pets, achievements, and apparel. I am even struggling to get the lore. (And you know that makes for a very unhappy MJ!)

Luckily, the holiday events don't end until January 2nd, so I am going to make a push to finish up as much as I can. If you happen to be in the same boat, here are a few hints to help wrap it all up. If, however, you are one of those people who got everything done early, feel free to skip to the end where I have penned a more appropriate take on a holiday favorite in honor of the season. Hopefully it will become a new cherished tradition!

Even ignoring the Whispering Tide event (as it runs longer), it will be difficult to get your hands on all the limited-time loot that is available for the holidays. If you procrastinated this long (and RNG hates you as much as it does me), you might just be out of luck as far as accumulating everything.

For starters, there are three different loot tables of clothing items to get. In the regular world, killing a Krampus can net you some second-hand tighty whiteys (I assume only if you are a male character) or a left sock or a right sock, which combine in the crafting window to make a pair of striped socks to wear.

In the Niflheim instance (that place you follow Krampus into if he summons a portal before you slaughter him), you can randomly get a pre-owned tank top, a dirty novelty plastic nose, red horns of Krampus, pink second-hand bloomers (for the lady characters), or a right or left sock. Hey, no one said Krampus gave good gifts! The boss Krampus also drops the numerous Hel summoning items; the summoning items can also be found on Krampuses in the eight zones. If you really want a specific clothing item, be prepared to grind this zone with a group because the drop rate is far from ideal.

If you thought getting the Niflheim drops you wanted was hard, wait until you hear about the Super Hel clothing line. Hel's is worse because not only must a Super Hel be summoned out in the world (which necessitates having a lot of specific ritual items), but the clothing items come in a very specific order. Between random rewards of Black Bullion and signet bags, players can get a scarf, mittens, pom pom hat, socks, shoes, Santa hat, crown of Krampus, then crown of Hel. So if you are just dying to get the crown of Hel, you first have to randomly receive every article of clothing before it in the list! Start sacrificing to the RNG gods now.

If you want to collect the new pets for this holiday season, you need to kill the three Vestiges of Nameless Days. Luckily for all of us, these world bosses are much easier than they were last year; their shields have been removed. The Enruned Quetzal Bird comes from the Transylvania vestige in Shadowy Forest, the Harbinger of Rancid Vapors golem drops off the Egypt vestige in Scorched Desert, and the Enruned Mayan Hatchling comes from the giant bug vestige in Savage Coast. Again, the drops are random, so be prepared to friend and meet up with many a person to complete the collection. For this, "/chat join event" is a lifesaver!

Additionally, Xibalba in The End of Days instance also can drop clothing items -- a headdress in normal and a robe in Nightmare Mode. And don't forget that some achievements also grant clothing, such as Lord of Misrule, which gives a reindeer sweater.

Achieving something great
Got all that? Good. Now, let's add in the achievements. There are various achievements for killing, collecting, killing with debuffs on, and more. Unfortunately, you cannot complete any of last year's achievements.

Ever-Ending Days
  • Resplendent Blues: Find the Quetzal bird in Blue Mountain (needed for 4/5 of the EED lore).
  • Down for the Count: Complete Normal Mode of Xibalba instance (bug has switched it from the NM).
  • Busted Bones: Complete Nightmare Mode of Xibalba instance (bug has switched it from the normal).
  • Unidentified Flying Objective: Heal the Quetzal bird in Xibalba.
  • Quetzal Catcher: Collect all Ever-Ending lore.
  • Ghosts of Ages Past: Kill all three vestiges.
  • Echoes of the Mayan Prophecy: Complete all Ever-Ending seasonal missions.
  • The Big Picture: Complete all Ever-Ending Days achievements.
  • Naughty and Nice: Killing any Krampus.
  • When She Freezes Over: Summon and kill Hel inside Niflheim.
  • Master of Weird Winter Mythos: Collect all the Krampusnacht lore entries.
  • Go to Mother!: Kill Super Hel in Savage Coast.
  • Lord of Misrule: Complete holiday achievements listed above.
  • King of Fools: Defeat the Lord of Misrule in PvP (also grants the title Lord of Misrule).
  • The Two-Faced Mother: Kill Hel inside Niflheim while debuffed.
But wait, that's not all! Now there is the lore to gather. And unfortunately, there's a snag that catches a number of players, including myself! Instead of just gathering the lore, you have to jump through some hoops in order to complete one set and kill Hel in her instance for the other.

Ever-Ending Days
  • #1-4: Pooped out by the Quetzal bird in BM; it wanders a path near the military camp and Kraken Point (look for the glowing pillar). Lore only visible a short time.
  • #5: Pooped out by Quetzal bird in Xibalba instance, either right or left side; disappears very quickly!
  • #1: Kingsmouth (493, 715 -- in a cave).
  • #2: Savage Coast (~50, 230 -- southwest of boathouse).
  • #3: Blue Mountain (540, 755).
  • #4: Scorched Desert (861, 585 -- ground floor of hotel).
  • #5: City of the Sun God (655, 580).
  • #6: Besieged Farmlands (842, 1193)
  • #7: Shadowy Forest (891, 763).
  • #8: Niflheim (247, 222 -- must click on wrapped present under the Krampus tree)
  • #9: Defeating Hel in the instance.
  • #10: Carpathian Fangs (472, 1090 -- heading to Castle).
As you can see, it truly is a mother of a season in The Secret World. I know there are a number of players who have gotten all the achievements and collected all the loot, but I am not yet one of them. I am not even sure I have any hope of joining those ranks. As of now, I still haven't succeeded in getting the lore in Xibalba, and don't get me started on my lack of clothing loot.

As much as I love TSW, I hope that next year Funcom spreads the events out just a smidgen and doesn't pile them on top of one another. Players are spread out trying to get all the various aspects done, and that splits up the available playerbase. And it's just hard to get through it all. I enjoy earning my rewards, but this time, the grind has been a bit too much and the story has been too little. This season is not the time for us to feel pressured and rushed in game. And did I mention that I'd really, really like more story and missions involved?

'Twas A Mother of A Season

'Twas A Mother of A Season, when all through Savage Coast,
The factions were gathered in a massive host;
The ritual items were hunted and shared,
In the hopes that Super Hel soon would be there --
She dropped scarves and mittens and horns and more;
Regular Hel in Niflheim even dropped lore!
And Krampus, of course, littered The Secret World,
Leaving second-hand gifts to good (or bad) boys and girls.
But lest you think that's all there was to do,
For a limited time there was End of Days too!
Oh how every player wanted vestiges dead,
For visions of enruned pets danced in their heads.
Xibalba had goodies and there were achievements galore,
And don't forget that the Quetzal bird pooped lore.
Have you got it all yet? You'd better make haste:
It ends on the second so there's no time to waste!
Prepare to grind all through the day and the night;
Happy Krampusnacht to all, and to all a good fight!

Conspiracies, paranoia, secrets, and chaos -- the breakfast of champions! Feast on a bowlful with MJ and Justin every Monday as they infiltrate The Secret World to bring you the latest word on the streets of Gaia in Chaos Theory. Heard some juicy whispers or have a few leads you want followed? Send them to or and they'll jump on the case!
This article was originally published on Massively.