Chaos Theory: My modest Secret World wish list

I'm not a greedy man. At least, I like to think I'm not. I try hard to be content with what I have, including the bounty of gaming options before me. And when it comes to The Secret World, I find that I have plenty to be thankful for.

I have a wonderful cabal that gathers together once a week for a riotous good time. I'm still in love with TSW's atmosphere and story well over a year after its launch. I adore the game's wardrobe options and can't stop playing dress-up with my Templar. I find the intellectual aspects of the missions and builds stimulating. I even get to write about all of this right here on Massively.

So don't take the following wish list as a lack of contentment. I'm really happy with the game as it is, but as with any gamer, there are always desires and wants that rise unbidden into my consciousness while I play. I recognize that Funcom has its hands very full as it tries to create as much content as it can with a reduced team, but that's not going to stop me today from wishing out loud for a few quality of life improvements for 2014.

Wish #1: Multiple cosmetic outfit save slots

I find it a little puzzling that a game that allows you to save multiple builds and loadouts with gear manager hasn't allowed the same with its robust cosmetic system. I keep coming up with new outfit combinations almost every time I log in, and I really wish that I could save them for later recall instead of having to recreate them constantly. Yes, there's a mod that supposedly does this, but I'd rather it just be an in-game feature.

Wish #2: Break up uniforms into components

While we're talking about outfits, I admit to being frustrated with earning a new uniform and not being able to mix-and-match with it the way you can do with the rest of the cosmetic system. Uniforms are nice and all that, but sometimes they have parts that would look so cool with other articles of clothing in my closet. Is doing this impossible the way uniforms are designed? I have no idea, but it's something I've wanted for a while now.

Wish #3: Allow us to buy 10.0 gear and signet bags with Sequins of Transylvania

Sequins of Transylvania are, as one player put it, "totally useless." You end up with scores of these sequins in your currency bag without anything really good to purchase with them. I'm very much for games providing multiple paths to gear progression, which is why I'm frustrated with TSW's anti-solo approach. Previous zones allowed you to buy good gear with sequins, so why not the current high-level zones in Transylvania? The time and effort invested to get all of those sequins has to equal the same in dungeon runs, in my opinion. And I'd think that it would be in the dev team's best interests to get as many people as possible in full sets of at least basic purples for group runs and the upcoming zones.

Wish #4: A revamped Argartha

This is a very minor annoyance, but I really dislike having to run/fly through a long linear path when I'm trying to access later zones in the game. Argartha looks pretty cool but doesn't feature the most intuitive or useful design. That could change to help a lot of people for the better.

Wish #5: Apartments

I want housing in this game so... bad... that I can't stop yammering on about it. Even if Funcom were to throw us a bone by allowing us to purchase an instanced apartment that we could decorate with non-functional trophies and items, I'd be ecstatic. Contemporary player housing in an MMO? How often does one see that?

Wish #6: More League of Monster Slayers content!

Out of all of the game's minor factions, I have become fixated on Danny and the League of Monster Slayers the most. Maybe it's partly an affinity to the Goonies and Stephen King's IT, but even more than that it's just plain awesome. Kids who come together to battle the forces of darkness that adults would rather ignore -- and they build the world's coolest treehouse to boot. We could either go back in time to see the League before the fog game to Solomon Island or witness the rise of the next generation of monster slayers with Danny at the lead.

Wish #7: Chat improvements

I have an ongoing feud with The Secret World's chat system. It's always felt clunky and antagonistic to me, especially when compared with the easy-use systems in other MMOs. Switching between chat channels takes longer than it should, hitting slash doesn't open up a chat dialogue the way it does in every other game, and practically every emote command that comes standard in MMOs doesn't here. You don't /wave to a friend; you /smallwave or /wavesmall or somesuch. It's a bunch of stupid dumb changes to the standard formula like that. I end up glaring at the chat window a lot, and I'd like to make peace with it if the developers took another pass at improving it.

Wish #8: Portable radios

Considering that TSW has radios with scads of player- and fan-submitted songs, I say it's a shame that you can't hear these tunes unless you find one of the places in the world that plays them. My suggestion is for the game to either give us or allow us to earn portable radios so that we can take the full body of in-game music with us. I know! Amazing! Like we're in the 1980s or something!

Wish #9: More weapons

Yes, I know that asking for additional non-auxiliary weapons is asking for a heap of new skills and balance headaches for the skill wheel, but so be it. My wish is out there. What would they be? Hm, let's go nature (or divine) magic for the magic section, knives for melee, and sniper rifle for ranged.

Wish #10: Additional idle animations

I find several of the idle animations really distracting because you see the same ones all of the time. The neck crick is weird, as is the fact that my female character is constantly checking out her nails. And while we're on the subject of animations, does everyone need the same pose for a specific weapon while in combat? Sword users look cool individually but together seem like massive posers copycatting each other.

A new year, 10 wishes. What would yours be?

Conspiracies, paranoia, secrets, and chaos -- the breakfast of champions! Feast on a bowlful with MJ and Justin every Monday as they infiltrate The Secret World to bring you the latest word on the streets of Gaia in Chaos Theory. Heard some juicy whispers or have a few leads you want followed? Send them to or and they'll jump on the case!
This article was originally published on Massively.