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Rumor Roundup: A matter of time

The iWatch was just about all anyone could talk about this week. Expect many more weeks like this one.

Why a health-focused iWatch won't kill smartwatches like the iPod killed audio players (TechHive)

Hey, let's speculate on why an unreleased Apple product won't upend an industry that's not even out of the incubator yet, much less in its infancy.

Are you ready for the reasons? They're hilarious.

1. Apple's competitors already have products on the market. Sure, they're all crap, but just look at all those competing products! Apple can't just enter an existing product category and expect to outdo the established players. Because it's never (Macintosh) ever (iPod) done anything (iPhone) like that before (iPad).

2. "Apple will find itself in very unfamiliar territory [...] will need help from more serious, sober industry players." Hey, remember in 2006 when everyone was all, "Apple can't make a cell phone. What the heck does Apple know about making cell phones? Pfft."

Predicting what Apple will do in the future based on rumors and hearsay is bad enough. Making bold predictions about Apple's success (or lack thereof) based on rumors is just fodder for the hilarity cannon. BOOM.

IPHONE 6 LEAK: Almost every last detail about the iPhone 6 possibly revealed in new report (BGR)

There is absolutely nothing remotely plausible listed in this so-called "report," and the source is some analyst in South Korea. Not exactly worth the hyperventilating all-caps headline there, BGR.

Apple May Be Building Its Own Content Delivery Network (MacRumors)

Some analyst thinks Apple is building its own content delivery network, but according to the article he "isn't entirely clear how in-depth the system will be." Well, stop the presses.

The Wall Street Journal apparently confirmed this story, which is a bit like having a random street-corner hobo "confirm" the weird ranting about chemtrails and the Illuminati posted on Facebook by that one relative of yours who never gets invited to the family reunions since "the incident."

iPhone 6 Rumored to Include 10+-Megapixel Camera with f/1.8 Aperture and Improved Filter (MacRumors; also reblogged by BGR)

Since this story comes from "sources from Taiwan's industrial chain," expect these rumored specs to be a perpetually-moving target until the next-gen iPhone is actually released. And if any of these specs are lower than what was rumored, it'll be because of Apple's inability to deliver (for some reason) and not because the rumors were flat-out wrong to begin with.

iWatch could be worth as much as iPhone & iPad first-year sales combined, says Morgan Stanley (9to5 Mac; also reblogged by AppleInsider, BGR)

"Estimating the revenue value of a product whose price is unknown and whose existence hasn't even been confirmed is probably about as tenuous as it gets," 9to5 Mac notes, but then goes on to reblog this BS from CNET anyway. As did AppleInsider and BGR.

Hey, guys? If you're aware of how "tenuous" this non-story is, maybe refrain from passing it on and adding to the perpetual racket of the echo chamber. Just a thought.

Critical LG technology tipped to be found inside Apple's iWatch (BGR; also reblogged by AppleInsider)

More Asian sources claiming to have inside knowledge about the tech that will be featured in unreleased, unannounced, unconfirmed Apple products. These sources are only just barely more accurate than so-called "analysts," so excuse my skepticism.

iWatch time: Apple seeking physiologists to run fitness, energy expenditure tests (9to5Mac)

Reality check: It's February. If Apple is still hiring people to test all the things described in this job listing, I seriously doubt the iWatch (or anything like it) will be released this year.

Apple currently plans to release iOS 7.1 in March (9to5 Mac)

The report on iOS 7.1's release date is most likely solid. Less so is the speculation that Apple may hold a March event.

Apple just procured enough Sapphire Crystal furnaces to make 100-200M ~5-inch iPhone displays in Arizona (9to5 Mac)

This looks an awful lot like actual investigative journalism. More of this, less of everything else.