You know what they say about functionality: "It's always better to look like a fool than have a few specks of dust on your iPhone." Wait, nobody ever said that?
What you see above are a pair of WTFJeans, which are designed specifically for iPhone users. To that end, they feature microfiber-lined pockets which are close to the exact width of an iPhone, meaning you don't have to worry about your device sliding around or shifting against your will.
The jeans repel water and, for include radiation-deflecting "copper-mesh-fabric" pockets that shield your body from anything your phone might be emitting. I'm not sure why any of this warrants a total of four iPhone-sized pockets right on the front of your lap, but I guess that's just the way these things go.
WTFJeans retail for upwards of US$175, as long as you fit one of the 9 pre-made sizes. If not, you can request a different size for an extra $100. Oh, and if that's still a little cheap for you, you even have the option of adding a personal "tagline" to your jeans pocket for another $55. WTF indeed.