The iPhone 5c is a bust. Tim Cook doesn't know what he's doing. Apple can't innovate. The iPhone 6 is delayed. The sky is falling, Apple is doomed... dooooomed!
Despite Apple's long and arguably unparalleled track record of releasing innovative and successful products, not to mention its penchant for generating billions in revenue each and every single quarter, many pundits would still have you believe that Apple's demise is just a matter of time. As Horace Dediu astutely stated last year, "no activity by Apple has been seen as sufficient for its survival."
And so, even in 2014, there are no shortage of vapid, shortsighted, and laughably uninformed articles detailing Apple's impending demise.
But why send pageviews to the undeserving when you can create your own "Apple is doooomed!" article with just the click of a button.
Introducing the Apple Clickbait Generator. Created by Kirk Lennon and Owen Evans, this lovely tool creates a new clickbait Apple article with each refresh. The results are delightful.
Here's an excerpt of what came up for me when I tried it.
Many analysts are telling Apple to cut prices, reduce margins and to chase market share, but Apple's Cook refuses to budge. And yet there are clouds on the horizon. Existing iPhone owners may love their handsets, but they aren't winning over new owners. The move signals a fundamental change in philosophy, the philosophy that made Apple great, which was to innovate. Innovation is what made Apple great. It may take a few years, but you will slowly see the erosion of the Mac into an elegant OS for launching crappy apps.
As authentic as it gets.