celebrity-sports-showdown
Latest
Celebrity Sports Fake Smiledown
It's shocking how accurate EA's Celebrity Sports Showdown seems to be as a simulator of the life of a famous person. Well, not in some ways -- most celebrities aren't taking part in jet-fighter-based activities, these days, mostly because of rising fuel costs. And, of course, most celebrities, while shorter than they look onscreen, are a bit more like normal people in proportion than the chibi characters who look suspiciously like the EA Playground kids.Most of the celebrity lifestyle seems to be based around accepting money to be seen in public at events they don't really care about, thrown by large companies much like Electronic Arts, and keeping the same vacant smile throughout. So glamorous.%Gallery-29557%
GOTY 2008: Celebrity Sports Showdown
Click image for more ludicrous, I-can't-believe-they-actually-did-this screens. When we took on this job, we never quite expected to be commenting on a picture of country music star Keith Urban skiing, but we'll do our best. So that's Keith Urban skiing, and this is Celebrity Sports Showdown, the latest Wii project in EA Sports' "Freestyle" sub-brand. If your breakfast just reappeared in your mouth, know this: you're not alone.The aim of this minigame smorgasbord is thus: take control of one of fifteen big-headed "celebrities," and pit them against one another in events including (amongst others) Wild Water Canoeing, Smash Badminton, Arena Dodgeball, Slalom Showdown, Hurdle Derby, and Curling. The celebrities come from the sphere of music and sport, and include leathery-skinned lump-wiggler Fergie, Reggie Bush, Avril Lavigne, Sugar Ray Leonard, and others not sufficiently famous enough to make this sentence.There's a full list past the break, though most are fairly C-list to a UK resident such as yours truly -- will there be a localized version with Keith Chegwin? Fingers and toes crossed! Or not.%Gallery-29557%
Go skiing with Fergie in Celebrity Sports Showdown
And then kill yourself immediately, please. We suggest taking your copy of Celebrity Sports Showdown, EA Canada's zeitgeist fart and 12-sport minigame miasma, and wedging it vertically between a few issues of Teeny Bopper Monthly before leaping into it, face first, using the mound of self-pity you've buried yourself in over the years as a diving platform. Trust us, it'll be less damaging to your dignity than spending this holiday cruising over icy bumps with the mistress of lady lumps. Don't worry, there's still time to turn your life around. Snap that elastic band on your wrist every time you reach out to a second-rate celebrity in a Wii sports video game, even one that promises a who's who and a who cares of popular culture. If you see an unnervingly rendered Keith Urban, Nelly Furtado or LeAnn Rimes beckoning you to enjoy inner-tubing, wild water canoeing, curling or anything involving "the ultimate party experience," turn the other way and flee.%Gallery-29563%
