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Bionic Bra automatically boosts and loosens to keep your breasts in place
Hey ladies. Let's have a bit of girl talk. Specifically, let's talk about boobs. Both you and I know that shopping for bras is a pain. They almost never fit perfectly, they're awkward to deal with and worst of all, they can be damned uncomfortable. Probably the worst culprit is the sports bra, as it has to be snug and unyielding in order to keep your girls from bouncing all over the place as you jog away on the treadmill. Enough with bras that change color or have built-in heart monitors; I just want a bra that's both functional and comfortable no matter the situation. It's 2014. Why isn't this a thing yet?
WildStar to reduce character breast size
Citing feedback from testers and others, WildStar developers will be reducing the breast size for Exile, Cassian, and Aurin characters in an upcoming beta patch. The change to bust sizes will bring the characters into a more reasonable proportion. As of right now, all players will receive the same body models per race and gender, although Design Producer Stephen Frost hinted that body shape sliders could be a post-launch feature. Chua will also get a character creation screen change in the form of underpants.
Far Cry 3's E3 2012 trailer is ... kind of kinky
Far Cry 3 certainly isn't kidding around with the imagery in this trailer; there's an age gate on this one for a reason. Between the drugs, the gore, and the nudity, it's clear that Ubisoft's upcoming shooter isn't going to play it very safe.
Massively mammillary online: Evony hires model to be the... face of the game
Quick -- what's missing in your life? No, not your dog; that beast is never coming back and you might as well get used to it. We're talking about Evony's tasteful, classy, and omnipresent chest-centric ads that had absolutely nothing to do with the gameplay itself. While Evony eventually replaced those ads with ones that showed elements from the actual game, it was only a matter of time before the bosoms of glory returned. To solve the crisis of the irrelevant breasts, the game studio hired a model to portray an in-game character, Eva, in a new series of ads. According to the press release, Eva was chosen by the game's players to find the right look for the person to represent the game. Eva will be displayed as both a real model and cartoon version. Undoubtedly, this is the high point of civilization as we know it, and everything will go downhill from here.
Captain's Log: Socializing and the quiet of space in STO
The Star Trek universe caters to a whole lot of different interests. You've got your basic sci-fi fan, who enjoys the shows and movies but doesn't get super into them. You've also got your movie buffs, who perk up for showings of Wrath of Khan or Nemesis (ha!). Futurists marvel at the prophetic nature of old-school Trek tech, and casual fans used to flip on the boob tube to scope out Seven of Nine's ram scoops. And of course, Star Trek has its die-hard fans, the Trekkers. (What's wrong with calling them "Trekkies," again?) I noticed a handful at New York Comic Con, traipsing about in their uniforms, snapping group pictures, scanning the Anime Festival next door for signs of intelligent life. And that got me to thinking about socializing in Star Trek Online. Why is it often so lonely in space?
Anti-Aliased: Boobs and you
Well Happy Turkey Day everyone! It's Thanksgiving Thursday, but it's also that time of the week again -- the time where Sera gets to rant in her opinion column to her heart's content. Yes, that's right, it's time for Anti-Aliased.This week's topic is one that's near and dear to my heart. Well, it's near to my heart, at least, and I mean that quite literally. It's also a perfect topic for today's holiday! I mean, who doesn't like to talk about large breasts on Thanksgiving? (Score one for the terrible synonym.)During last week's column on Blade & Soul, the main topic that came up time and time again in the comments wasn't the game's combat, or the game's engine, or anything really related to the game at large. No, it seems that many of you were turned off of the game by the fact that the screenshot I used had a woman with huge boobs. That was the deal breaker for the game.
You'll shake your head at this Ninja Gaiden ad
Tecmo's creative team has certainly been churning out memorable ads for the upcoming PS3 release of Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2. The videos have shifted focus from sex to violence to ... more sex. The latest ad promotes the unique SIXAXIS motion controls exclusive to the PS3 version. Like the stars of this commercial, we're certain you'll be shaking your head -- we'll leave it up to you whether it's in approval or disapproval.[Thanks, Sean!]
Ninja Gaiden Sigma 2 has the breast use of SIXAXIS ever
Ever since the fall of Lair, Sony has been reluctant to tout the SIXAXIS functionality of the PS3 wireless controller. It's no longer a marketing bullet point, and even if developers offer support for motion control, it's usually turn off as a default. (Most recently, Batman: Arkham Asylum let players use SIXAXIS to control Batman's glide.)While other developers ignore the SIXAXIS, Team Ninja isn't afraid to highlight its unique implementation of motion controls. In the first Ninja Gaiden Sigma game, players were able to cast magic by shaking the controller violently. This time around, the shaking has an entirely different (but equally important!) effect. You probably should have figured it out from the headline and IGN's cleverly constructed image. If not, there's a video after the break.[Thanks, Sean!]
Massively multiplayer online... boobs?
Did you know that MMOs and breasts have a long history with one another? It's true, you know. From the time MMOs came onto the scene, so too did scantily clad women with huge hooters. Also, yes, this is indeed one of "those" articles. The article where we talk about breasts seriously, I mean.Sanya Weathers, no stranger to the MMO industry (or breasts, for that matter) just recently took a pretty funny tour of how breasts work into advertising, whether we like it or not. From box art to marketing departments, she looks at some of the good, the bad, and the downright horrible when it comes to putting hot women on boxes to sell games.If you're up for a laugh, go check out her article over at MMORPG.com. It's funny, it's insightful, it's historical, and it's full of what men want most -- awesome games. (Get your head out of the gutter if you thought that last line was going to be another boob joke.)
Apple's App Store approves first explicit content, Anita Bryant races to Cincinnati
After all the cases of benign apps being rejected on grounds of "objectionable content," the first outright application featuring jiggly bits has made it to the App Store. How could this happen? Easy, Apple's shift in policy is made possible by the parental controls included in the iPhone OS 3.0 -- you know, so you can parent instead of Apple. Hopefully this brings an end to arbitrary App Store rejections and begins a new era of fire and brimstone threats of eternal damnation.[Via MacRumors] Read [Warning: not safe for work]
Portable Soulcalibur keeps things big
Click Ivy to see more pictures. As you can see in these new screenshots, Soulcalibur: Broken Destiny isn't giving up the graphical detail found in the console games. No, Ivy is well-endowed with ... polygons. It reminds us that although PSP may be a handheld device, it can pump out truly spectacular graphics so long as developers do the breast they can.%Gallery-51401%
Inner World launches a new magazine for Second Life
The creators of the new Inner World magazine have let us know that they've got their inaugural edition out, and it's 92 pages of pretty, served up by Issuu. The Inner World magazine appears to be the brainchild of Jussara Correa, of Sao Paulo, Brazil. Available in Portuguese or (slightly uncertainly-formed) English, the magazine has a lot going for it with a panoply of advertising-supported Art, places and stories from Second Life. There's a smattering of mature content (that's 'boobies' for those of you who probably shouldn't be taking a look), so take care about when and where you choose to idly flip through the mag. The Issuu viewer that it runs on top of requires flash and javascript and is happiest under Windows (other platforms may have a less than ideal viewing experience with the layout), but nevertheless seems to be an attractive alternative to PDF-formatted online magazines and tabloids. It's colorful, pretty and doesn't represent a lot of heavy reading. Are you a part of the most widely-known collaborative virtual environment or keeping a close eye on it? Massively's Second Life coverage keeps you in the loop.
Boobs! Sweeping changes coming to 1UP
As UGO's purchase of 1UP continues to send shock waves across the gaming landscape, details about what to expect under the site's new overlords have begun to emerge. Or rather, what we could have expected. 1UP's Scott Sharkey drops his synergistic ideas for a new site comprised of lists, boobs and lots of both. But alas, Scott's been promptly muzzled by his new handlers.Don't worry, though. Joystiq plans to "borrow" all of your fine ideas, Scott, for our new megasite: JoyDaily.com -- brought to you by AOL's TMZ!
The Best of Massively: Our top 5 weirdest news stories
We're still counting down to Massively's first birthday by compiling the best and most entertaining coverage we've done. So far we've listed our most important interviews and our most helpful guides. This time around, we're looking back at the top five strangest, weirdest and sometimes-raciest news stories we've covered since we launched last November.Whether you missed these stories or you're just ready for a refresher, we hope they'll make you smile and laugh -- or at least make you raise an eyebrow or two! Click to start >> %Gallery-33582%
Funcom apologizes for involuntary breast reductions
We'll have to be completely honest with you; ever since Jorgen Tharaldsen's famous proclamation,"You'll see titties," the topic of Age of Conan and its famously epic mammaries is one that comes up rather frequently around the Massively offices. What can we say, we're admirers of the female form... also, we like boob jokes. In any case, we were rather distressed to hear of some Age of Conan players complaining that their in-game counterparts were lacking a certain lactoid luster.It might seem like a frivolous complaint, but from the images provided by a forum user named Gust, it's become evident that the change in chesticle size is actually significant. And Funcom is taking the complaint seriously, saying in part, "Funcom can confirm that some of the female models in the game have had the size of their breasts changed. This is due to an unintended change in data that was introduced in an earlier patch, data which controls the so-called morph values associated with character models and the size of their respective body parts. We are working on a fix for this and your breasts should be back to normal soon." It's sporting of them admit their mistake, and hopefully they'll have it fixed as quickly as many of the other bugs they've had since launch.[Via Kotaku]
TurpsterVision: I am a real Barbarian
Every Tuesday think "T" for Turpster and take the "a" in "day", capitalise it, remove the little bit in the middle, turn it upside down and you get a "V". Put the two together and you'll have TV for TurpsterVision -- the best Internet video podcast on Massively! (Never mind that business about it being the only video podcast on Massively...)It is a well known fact that Turpamania is running wild, but before Turpamania there was Hulkamania; arguably not as widespread and with as many Turpamaniacs, but our lesson has to begin somewhere. You see, Age of Conan was released today, and with that it conjures up images of the greatest barbarian of all time, Hulk Hogan – don't pretend like you don't remember all the words to his song, "I am a real Barbarian".Anyway, I digress: AoC has been billed as one of the four horsemen to herald the end of Blizzard's evil tyranny over the MMO market, but can any game, or any group of games, really topple the giant that is World of Warcraft? No, of course not, but that doesn't mean that they aren't great fun!
Ladies and gentlemen: Flexiboobs
If you were around in Second Life when flexiprims were introduced, you knew, as I did, that it was only a matter of time before this happened: flexiboobs have arrived.Raven Ivanova sells these avatar attachments at her store Smashing Prims, where apparently they're quite popular -- to the tune of about $2,000 after only 2 months on the market. Residents can buy the breasts as separate attachments, or as adjuncts to dresses that Ivanova also sells at her store. For the full story, and a video of the flexiboobs in action, check out Hamlet Au's New World Notes. I'm going to have to stop predicting the future. Or failing that, predict something useful to me.
Behind the 'Cheetah 2' performance increase in Age of Conan
While there weren't many MMO companies at CES, you could find a few doing their thing at the edges of the show. Sony Online Entertainment was certainly there, and we came away with a few choice tidbits from their games. Age of Conan was a big presence at the Games for Windows area of Microsoft's booth, and Dan O' Halloran has been reporting on what they had to offer.I stood and chatted with Conan designer Jason Stone for a specific purpose: to get to the bottom of the newly announced 'Cheetah 2' package of upgrades. Essentially a large number of engine tweaks that are all coming together at the same time, Funcom chose CES as the perfect time to unveil their nerdy workings."Yesterday in our Cheetah 2 build we were able to fly over this valley with 800+ NPCs loaded, every NPC in the zone loaded, and I never dropped below about 25 frames per second. Without loading all those NPCs, I was going over 64/84 frames per second. Now, the Cheetah build we brought to show, a lot of people have been asking "Can I run the game on my computer?" and "What's it going to look like on DX9?". We've made sure we focused on what we brought here as far as Cheetah 2, is all DX9/Windows XP. We're talking about 1920 by 1200, and getting upwards of 30 to 60 frames per second – very solid Windows XP graphics. Massive, massive increase in performance, and we're really proud to be able to show that to people. We want people to know we're not going for a repeat of our Anarchy Online launch."Read on for more on their effort to bring the shiny to the players, what it's like to work on a game non-stop for three years straight, and a view on the 'boobs and blood' debate from his side of the screen. And if you're still not all that familiar with the game, go back and read Akela's great chat with Jørgen Tharaldsen from last year.%Gallery-13299%
The breast video game boobs to haunt our mammories
It's been a while since we noticed a gaming site go straight for the Maxim demographic full force, but boy did GameDaily ever do it with its "Boobs through the Years" pictorial. Twelve pictures of boobs (eleven women and one man) from the last 30 years of gaming litter this feature. The Soul Calibur IV breasts, which are certainly the most gratuitous in recent memory, get the feature bouncing along. Once again, the piece is so base, but the site sure did get creative with some of the descriptions. For example, Dead or Alive Xtreme 2 (pictured) is described as having mammary glands where each have their own "mother brain." And don't forget about Rachel from Ninja Gaiden's "heaving mounds of fury." Oh mercy, time to go make a donation to the Girl Scouts on GameDaily's behalf.
Today's most Pamela Anderson Free video: WoW Baywatch intro parody
This World of Warcraft video features a parody of the opening titles to Baywatch, but takes Pamela Anderson out of the mix and replaces her with a buxom female in a bikini. There's a dwarf too, making you wonder who they could rescue in a case of drowning, but hey ... the heart is in the right place, even if the legs are short. Apparently Hasselhoff is nowhere to be found either, dammit.It's gotten to the point where we'd rather watch WoW machinima than actually try and spend hours, days, weeks, and months grinding out levels. Someone is probably working on a Heroes episode with WoW characters right now as you're reading then. In fact, is it you? If so, get back to work and let us know when you're done.
