chuck norris

Latest

  • WoW Archivist: WoW's craziest TV ads

    by 
    Scott Andrews
    Scott Andrews
    09.14.2012

    WoW Archivist explores the secrets of World of Warcraft's past. What did the game look like years ago? Who is etched into WoW's history? What secrets does the game still hold? Nefarian swallows a truck. Two women duke it out in a supermarket. A trio of singers shouts, "No means no!" Mr. T introduces a new race and Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicks a kodo. Those responsible for advertising World of Warcraft have hit on some crazy ideas. This week, Blizzard debuted its first TV ads for Mists of Pandaria. As I'm writing this, I've just watched them air live on Monday Night Football. That's a big-time slot for a commercial here in the States and runs a cool $325,000 per nationally televised spot. The ads feature clips from the official trailer. If only the Bengals had put up as much of a fight as that panda. But not all of WoW's commercials through the years have been quite so ... straightforward. Let's take a look!

  • Chinese government forbids MMO television series

    by 
    Justin Olivetti
    Justin Olivetti
    08.06.2012

    Chances are that you weren't holding out hope that BBC One was suddenly going to announce Chuck Norris: Warcraft Ranger or that Syfy was going to sign EVE Online to a three-season deal. TV shows based on MMORPGs don't happen -- at least not yet -- but if there is any place that you could imagine one being made, it would probably be in China. Unfortunately, it looks like this hypothetical daydream is off the table for the time being, as the government ruled that no TV show can be made from an MMO property. What gives, China? Why no love for the MMO? This strange restriction is one of several new guidelines announced over the weekend by the Chinese State Administration of Radio, Film, and Television. Among the guidelines is the rule that broadcast TV can't be based on online games. The only current show on Chinese TV related to MMO is Rift in the Sky (which is based on the game Sword of the Yellow Emperor). If you consider how popular MMOs are in the country, it seems odd that the government feels that they're unworthy of appearing on air.

  • IGN discovers the Aubrey Plaza WoW commercial that never aired

    by 
    Anne Stickney
    Anne Stickney
    06.21.2012

    Does anyone remember those World of Warcraft "What's your game?" commercials? They've been around for years, featuring celebrities like Mr. T, William Shatner, Verne Troyer, Ozzy Osbourne, and even a French commercial with Jean-Claude Van Damme. There were two that were introduced last year -- the infamous Chuck Norris commercial, and one done by Aubrey Plaza from Parks and Recreation. I remember liking the Chuck Norris commercial well enough, but the Aubrey Plaza commercial fell a little flat for me. Don't get me wrong, I love Parks and Recreation, but the commercial for WoW didn't seem particularly funny. Well IGN just uncovered an entirely different Aubrey Plaza commercial, one that never aired. Frankly, I think this version is quite a bit funnier than the one originally used, and I'm not sure why they didn't go with it. Perhaps it was just a tad too racy for television? Regardless, you can view the unaired commercial above and decide for yourself. Personally, I like the second version of Aubrey's commercial a lot better -- but then, I'm a fan of silly orc puns. What do you think?

  • World of Warcraft 'law enforcement guide' leaked, new commercial released

    by 
    Matt Daniel
    Matt Daniel
    11.21.2011

    Have you ever wondered what kind of dirt law enforcement officers would be able to dig up on you if they went to World of Warcraft developer Blizzard for information? Well, wonder no more. An 18-page document has been leaked to the internet thanks to the notorious organization known as AntiSec. The document is two years old, but it outlines what information Blizzard will disclose to law enforcement officers under given stipulations. And in completely and utterly unrelated news (well, Chuck Norris played a Texas ranger, so I guess there's some kind of connection), the game has revived its celebrity-laden advertisement series with a new commercial featuring none other than the hero of Barrens chat himself, mister Chuck Norris. As expected, the short clip is full of WoW-modified Chuck Norris jokes because apparently that horse hasn't been sufficiently flogged yet. To see the ad for yourself, just click on past the cut.

  • Chuck Norris plays a melee hunter in latest WoW commercial

    by 
    Daniel Whitcomb
    Daniel Whitcomb
    11.20.2011

    Blizzard has just posted an official copy of the newest Warcraft commercial, in which Chuck Norris plays a human melee hunter with a cat pet. The commercial shows Chuck punching and kicking his way across Azeroth in a particularly monk-like style, fighting orcs and kodos in The Barrens and Westfall, and beating up gnomes in seedy bars. Chuck Norris jokes have been a fixture of Warcraft Barrens and trade chat lore for years, so it was probably inevitable that we'd get something like this eventually. Personally, I'm still a bigger fan of Vin Diesel jokes (and Vin Diesel the human being, for that matter), but it's hard to deny that Chuck doesn't have his place in pop culture and in the WoW community. Now, with this commercial, it's official. And I won't lie, I'd probably give my humans that hairstyle and beard if they showed up in game.

  • Daily Mac App: War Pinball HD

    by 
    Samuel Gibbs
    Samuel Gibbs
    08.22.2011

    Can't get enough pinball on your Mac? War Pinball HD from Gameprom takes the great pinball engine we saw in Pinball HD and adds some war film tie-ins to the mix. You've got three tables on offer in War Pinball HD, two based on Charlie Sheen flicks, Platoon and Navy Seals, and one on a Chuck Norris special, Missing in Action. Each table is stacked full of images, props and sounds from the movies. You've even got unique elements like Huey's, Subs and a giant Chuck Norris on the table that form part of the missions available to each table. Of course because it's war-themed you've got oodles of gun fire and explosions. Almost every action on the table has some sort of well thought out and integrated sound effect or clip from the respective movie, making the soundscape within War Pinball HD incredibly immersive. It draws you in and really adds to the action. In the settings there's a toggle for some of the more sweary clips, just in case youngsters are playing. Even the menu music and sound effects are great. If you're a fan of American war films, you're going to love it. The game's graphics look great of course, and you can even play it in 3D with some suitable glasses. Gameplay is top notch too, as each table plays really well, with enough side missions and targets to keep you entertained. If you're hankering for some decent pinball action on your Mac, the US$2.99 War Pinball HD brings pinball and war together to give you one of the best pinball games available in the Mac App Store.

  • The Perfect Ten: Predictions for The Old Republic

    by 
    Justin Olivetti
    Justin Olivetti
    04.07.2011

    I'm going to share with you a deep secret about the Massively staff: Pretty much all of us hate Larry. Oh, as a person he's likable enough, and he showers regularly, so no complaints there. He even saved the President's dog once and earned the Merit of Patriotic Pooches. Women swoon at his feet, and men occasionally throw their billfolds at him just so that he can afford to live the luxurious lifestyle that he obviously deserves. No, we hate him for a different reason entirely. You see, Larry gets the privilege and honor of being the Star Wars: The Old Republic reporter in these here parts, which has earned him no end of envy from the rest of us. Whenever we're all talking about TOR, Shawn will come in the room and tell all of us to cut it out -- except Larry. "Larry, it's your job to talk about The Old Republic. Keep on truckin', pal! You're the best!" And then Larry sticks his tongue out at us and makes pretend lightsaber noises for an hour or so while we grit our teeth. But then I remembered: I have a top ten column! In which I can talk about anything! And if that subject so happened to be TOR, then for one glorious week I could actually talk about BioWare's upcoming MMO without fear of reprisal from upper management! So today is all about my predictions for The Old Republic. Nine of them will come true; one will not. Have fun guessing which one!

  • The art of pricing

    by 
    Basil Berntsen
    Basil Berntsen
    03.17.2010

    I hear this all the time: "Hurrr! Undercutters are ruining this market! Durrr!". Today, we're going to talk about this. Undercutting doesn't ruin markets, high supply does. Also, if it's still profitable, the market's not ruined, it's just being taken away from you. Cut your margins and undercut back. Or buy them out if you still think they're wrong and you're right. But markets should be protected from undercutters! Balderdash. Markets are a place where people can sell their goods for any price they want. You're describing collusion between sellers to reduce "lost profits," where every time someone wants to undercut with a new auction, they do so by the smallest possible amount. More often than not, all your competitors will have the same cost that you do, and as soon as they see you commit to an auction, they'll undercut you right back. If everyone is knocking a copper off the next highest auction, they only way to undercut successfully is to try camp the AH and make sure you're always the competitor who has visited most recently. Needless to say, this is a colossal waste of your time, and you would probably make more money per hour doing argent tourney dailies. The only way to effectively sell your product in a market with a lot of competitors is to undercut by more than just a trivial amount. You need to make it just cheap enough that your competition is less likely to undercut you, but expensive enough that you're still making money.

  • Joyswag: 3 Days of Red Alert 3 swag [update]

    by 
    Ben Gilbert
    Ben Gilbert
    03.31.2009

    Update: Winners have been contacted, folks. Congratulations, winners! Good luck next time, non-winners!Is that ... Ric Flair? Why yes, yes it is! And he's signed five glamour shots for five lucky winners who'll also receive the Red Alert 3 Premium Edition for PC, a code to download the recently released Uprising expansion and a sweet Red Alert 3 t-shirt to cap it all off. Here's the stipulation: We need your best faux-facts (a la Chuck Norris) about everybody's favorite wrestler turned FMV actor, Ric "The Nature Boy" Flair. For example, Ric Flair doesn't land, he descends, but, ya know, different than that. After 72-hours have passed, we'll pick five winners at random from the comments section. Here are all the specifics and contest rules, just in case we haven't spelled it out enough for you already: Leave us a comment with your best Ric "The Nature Boy" faux-fact You must be 18 years or older and a resident of the US or Canada (excluding Quebec) You may enter once per calendar day This entry period ends at 3:00PM ET on Friday, April 3. We'll randomly select five (5) winners at that time to receive: one Red Alert 3 Premium Edition for PC (ARV: $29.99), one Red Alert 3: Uprising download code (ARV: $19.99), one Ric Flair signed headshot (ARV: $10), and one Red Alert 3 t-shirt . Please check your e-mail! For a list of complete rules, click here Feel free to check out the gallery of gameplay screens below in all their glory to drum up some ideas for the contest! And good luck to everyone!%Gallery-43066%

  • Tuesday Morning Post: Vin Diesel is better edition

    by 
    Daniel Whitcomb
    Daniel Whitcomb
    03.24.2009

    So here we are. 5 AM Pacific is almost upon us, then we'll have downtime until 11 AM Pacific (Unless they extend it again). That means it's closing time. One last call for exp, so finish your grinding or quest, and whatnot. As usual, I'm going to suggest that you fill that WoW-less void in your life with some browsing of WoW Insider. But first, I have something to get off my chest. It's something I have felt needs saying for a long time, and I'm now I'm going to say it, so listen up: Vin Diesel could beat Chuck Norris any day.I've been saying it for years, seriously. Vin Diesel is so much better than Chuck Norris. Whoever first replaced Chuck Norris with Vin Diesel in all those Barrens Chat jokes, you and I need to have some words, I swear. And now I have even more evidence that Vin Diesel is the true master of badassedness: He actually plays WoW.But anyway, back on topic. That wasn't the biggest piece of news this week, as weird as it may seen. We just got solid confirmation of a new Battleground, not to mention the new gamer fuel and a bunch of UI and Addon news that everyone's still buzzing about. Since we're all stuck not playing WoW for a bit, why not check all that out now? As always, I have a list of the best and hottest news under the cut.

  • World of Warcraft as evolutionary model

    by 
    Mike Schramm
    Mike Schramm
    02.14.2009

    This must be the time of year for zany social theories about videogames. First, we heard that World of Warcraft might quality as being a religion. Then we heard that it might make for better citizens. And now, in an essay over at Gamasutra on the event of Charles Darwin's birthday, Noah Falstein suggests that games like World of Warcraft are actually models for evolution -- as we level up with experience points, our characters get stronger and more evolved, and we feel comfortable with that because that's exactly what we see happening in the world around us.Technically, of course, you can't model Darwin's theory of evolution with a single character -- evolution isn't about one individual getting better, it's about a process of natural selection in a species over a period of time. To really model evolution, you'd have to play hundreds of alts, and quit them each time you ran into a problem, leaving you with just a few characters that worked really well. Wait -- maybe some of you are already doing that.But Falstein makes good points in saying that certain elements of what Darwin described as evolution have shown up in game design as well -- the idea of specialization for certain character classes, tribal and national allegiances, and even the idea of memes (which are certainly widespread in WoW -- anyone ever heard of Chuck Norris or Leroy Jenkins?) are all drawn from Darwin's thinking and definitely embodied in the game we play.

  • Know Your Lore: High Overlord Saurfang

    by 
    Alex Ziebart
    Alex Ziebart
    08.28.2008

    Welcome to Know Your Lore, where each week Alex Ziebart brings you a tasty little morsel of lore to wrap your mind around. Sweet, sweet lore. Mmmm. Have suggestions for future KYL topics? E-mail us! Or, if you have a question for our sister column Ask a Lore Nerd, e-mail us those, too!Did you know that Kalimdor and the Eastern Kingdoms were actually separated by a stray swing of High Overlord Saurfang's axe? Did you know giraffes are just zhevras that were on the receiving end of a Saurfang Uppercut? Did you know that Saurfang doesn't have a face beneath his mask, just another axe? Overlord Saurfang is only afraid of one thing... Mrs. Saurfang.Okay, I'm sorry, none of that was true except for possibly that last one. It was just as obnoxious to type out as it was to read, trust me. (Un)fortunately, it's a pretty good introduction to Saurfang, as he somehow evolved into a fan favorite bad ass over the last few years while his Alliance counterpart remained a Blizzard Employee ego stroke. It took me awhile to buy into the hype around this guy, but he's been winning me over as of late.

  • Forum post of the day: Where's my big brother

    by 
    Amanda Dean
    Amanda Dean
    08.26.2008

    At one point in time Chuck Norris jokes dominated trade chat. Then it was the Murloc game. I'm sure we've all noticed that now it's the anal <insert spell> gibberish that now floods the channel. Dolce of Blackrock believes that it's time the Blizzard begin moderating trade channels during prime time. The chat channel can be turned off, but then it loses utility for valid messages such as selling enchants, transmutes, and well, general trade. As a parent, Dolce continued his argument: Wow has a very broad appeal and the average parent would look at the packaging of the World of Warcraft and assume that it is nothing more than a fantasy game where their son or daughter can play with their friends and have "adventures". The average parent I imagine (and this is merely a broadstroke comment based on the huge playerbase), may not have any sort of familiairity with online games, and even to a certain degree, computers as a whole. Asking parents (although I am extremely attentive to what my childrens activities are) to have an intimate knowledge of joining and exiting out of city channels is a bit extreme. Perhaps if there were parental controls that you could set ot make this easier...... /wink In any event I would not be suprised to see some news anchor with some over the top expository on the lewd and profane content that is seen in WoW spun out of context in the near future. I would say they would be killing a variety of birds with one stone if they simply moderated these popular channels.

  • One Shots: Peace in the Crossroads

    by 
    Krystalle Voecks
    Krystalle Voecks
    07.29.2008

    For anyone who has ever played World of Warcraft (especially as a Horde player leveling through this area) you'll understand just how unusual this screenshot is. It was taken in the Barrens area in World of Warcraft. The unique thing is that this doesn't involve Alliance rolling into the area, guards attacking, players PvPing, or any Chuck Norris jokes. Not one! It's just a pure, unspoiled landscape -- a rare find. Nate D. figured he'd send this in, since he caught a quiet moment at dawn. Quiet moments in the Barrens are certainly hard enough to find on many servers! (Of course, it helps if you turn the UI off or /leave general too.)Do you have a screenshot you've taken from your daily journeys? If so, we'd love to see them. Just send them to us here at oneshots AT massively.com. We'll get them all set up and ready to go, and you get the credit for snapping a cool picture and telling us a bit about it. Can't beat that!%Gallery-9798%

  • Behind the Curtain: Voice Chat - why bother?

    by 
    Craig Withers
    Craig Withers
    03.13.2008

    So here's a thing – I don't use Voice Chat in my MMOs. I understand why people use it, and why some guilds view it as a tool they simply could not function without, but I just don't enjoy using it. For all that MMOs are a primarily visual medium, there's still something powerful about the written word. While text-only chat can sometimes pose a problem and a barrier to communication – sarcasm, for example, rarely translates well on forums or in Guild Chat – what text does allow is the chance for everyone to have a near-level playing field. Typing out what you want to say gives you a buffer, a small delay between what you think and what you say, it allows you to choose your words carefully. I may be over-stating the case for text here, but I've had a lifelong love affair with words and language, and it's not a relationship that I'm likely to break up any time soon. That being said, it's one of fate's cruel jokes that I should love the written word so much, yet be forced by my hobbies and interests to spend so much time in online environments where the poor, unfortunate apostrophe is treated with cavalier disregard.

  • Cutting down the noise in online situations

    by 
    Mike Schramm
    Mike Schramm
    01.15.2008

    Technically, the idea that Randall Munroe (author of XKCD, one of the funniest and definitely the geekiest of the comics on the web) had wasn't really about MMOs, but I think there is an application to the communities that we're all gaming in. His problem was that, whenever a community reaches a certain number of people, connections weaken, and it becomes an ever-increasing struggle of signal versus noise. And while his interest in that problem has to do with the IRC channel associated with the comic, it will surely sound familiar to those of us who've spent any amount of time in an online gaming environment.So what's his plan to fix things? His theory is that a lack of meaningful communication is directly tied to the originality of the statements contained therein-- ie. get rid of the Chuck Norris comments and the older-than-dirt memes and jokes, and you'll have meaningful communication. So he created a script to sit in the channel (#xkcd-signal on irc.foonetic.net) with logs of the past two years of chatting, and if you say anything that's already been said, you'll get muted.

  • A New Year's quest log

    by 
    Christopher Colon
    Christopher Colon
    12.31.2007

    Everyone has New Year's resolutions, including MMO players. Here is a two-page list of resolutions we found on a particularly busy player whose list is in a particularly accessible format that any quest runner will understand.

  • Breakfast Topic: What do you want your character to look like?

    by 
    David Bowers
    David Bowers
    08.23.2007

    You're likely already aware that one of the great new features to be unveiled in the Wrath of the Lich King expansion is the ability to change your character's hairstyle. A number of players (including myself) have actually stopped playing certain characters just because our original appearance choices didn't turn out as good in play as they seemed in the character creation screen. Some (including myself) have spent a long time thinking about what a new character should look like and trying out many variations, playing for a bit, deleting them and trying again until you get something you know you can live with for the rest of your character's life.Soon, however, our characers' hairspray will no longer be stone-stiff, and a new era of creative exploration will open up to Azerothians. Existing characters with ugly hair may get a second chance at coolness -- but as many already satisfied players know, your characters' good looks often come from a desire to make them fit, as closely as possible, some image we already have in our mind.So tell us of your dream for your character, how you envision him or her when you close your eyes. Do you want your Death Knight to look like Darth Vader, or -- heaven forbid -- Chuck Norris? If you like, you could link to a picture you like, or even draw your creative vision for us!My own most vivid character visualization was for a night elf rogue I had in mind. I wanted her to have the look of an angel who used to live among the stars in the sky, but had somehow gotten lost on earth and forgotten her way home. In hindsight, I was probably very inspired by my favorite Neil Gaiman novel, Stardust, in which a star actually does fall to the earth... and breaks her leg.

  • Chuck Norris doesn't sleep... he waits

    by 
    Mike Schramm
    Mike Schramm
    05.18.2007

    I can't believe it hasn't been done before (and I'm not sure how old the pic is), but there you go-- Cordell Walker as a WoW character.. My favorite: The chief export of Chuck Norris is Pain. More here, or just visit a local Barrens chat near you.Chuck Norris is no stranger to gaming, but my hunch is that as funny as this is, it's actually photoshopped. In all my Azerothian travels, I've never seen a sleeveless, unbuttoned denim shirt. But you never know-- if Col. James Braddock called up Blizzard and told them he was going to be in the game, they'd have no choice but to comply.[ via Digg ]

  • Mii Spotlight: All Eyez on Mii edition

    by 
    Eric Caoili
    Eric Caoili
    05.12.2007

    Now that we've introduced our Mii Spotlight feature and its star-studded cast, we're just about ready to get this party started -- this gangsta party that is. Before we start gettin' low and backing our things up though, don't forget that we're still on the lookout for new and exciting Miis! If you have any that you'd like to share, especially if they're music-themed like this week's collection is going to be, take a few pics and send them to mii at nintendowiifanboy dot com.So what's the rapper to non-rapper ratio in your Mii Plaza? On my console, it's an easy 3:1. I created most of the hip-hop cartoon figures out of boredom, but there's a number that were produced for the specific purpose of motivating other Miis to throw their hands in the air, waving them as if they didn't have a care in the world. Jump past the post break for some of my favorite rapping Miis and submissions from our own talented readers!