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Crapgadget CES, round 5: Gimme Tunes
We had a lot of fun hanging with the guys at the Electro Joe booth -- they definitely love their crapgadgets. Our favorite was a little something called Gimme Tunes, a pair of speakers in craptastic high heeled cases. These guys are powered by USB, but the audio input is a classic headphone jack. "Gimme Tunes," the guy in the booth asked. "It's a pun. Do you get it?" Uh, no. "You know, like Jimmy Choo." Right.
Crapgadget CES, round 3: Moneual's $45K HTPC
There are some that might challenge the very idea of anything this expensive being a "crapgadget," but closer inspection of this item leaves little room for doubt. Indeed, it looks like Moneual's still around with its jewel laden "luxury" PCs, and we were fortunate enough to come across this delightful specimen on the floor of CES. The 701 Jewelry HTPC is handcrafted with gold and brass and adorned with 3500 Swarovski elements -- as well as HDMI, Blu ray, and Windows Vista Home Premium. Your cost? A mere $45,000. "The price of gold is going up," the helpful chap at the company's booth pointed out. This isn't a media PC, then -- it's an investment. Before you call your broker, take a closer look at the gallery below. %Gallery-82394%
Crapgadget CES, round 2: The Phubby (wrist-on)
It's advertised as a cubby for your wrist, but it doubles as an opposite-sex repellent. Update: Don't worry, it probably repels members of the same sex as well. %Gallery-82091%
Crapgadget CES, round 1: polar bear TV
ATSC tuner, 720p resolution, remote control, switchable cuddle / mauling modes. But where's the giraffe? P.S.- This isn't even Hannspree's craziest TV -- that honor goes to the 42-inch fire truck monitor, which we still want.
Crapgadget master class: USB portable media speaker with webcam
As every seasoned holiday shopper can attest, the week leading up to Christmas is critical. We've all been there: lack of sleep and proper nutrients leads to errors in judgment, collateral damage, and most heinous of all: crapgadgets. How can you be sure that the media dock that you purchased for a loved one is the real deal? Well, you could peruse our Holiday Gift Guide selection of docks and alarm clocks, for starters. But if you're in a crunch, ask yourself the following questions: Is the speaker set manufactured by the Kaiser Transmission Parts Company of Taipei? Does it feature a mind-numbing array of features? (The above example includes SD card support, a 5 megapixel webcam, and support for external storage via USB.) Does the black and orange color combination make you dizzy? And, the most telling: Does the product literature boast support for the Meizu M8? If so, then yes, you probably have a crapgadget. If you're undaunted -- and you have $53.99 to burn -- hit the source link. Or get a closer look after the break.
Solid Alliance's new earbuds are 'crazy,' ugly
So, you broke the bank (and several credit cards) picking up that uber-stylish Acronym GT-J14 earbud-friendly jacket only to find that no one even noticed? Or perhaps your Lady GaGa-approved beats couldn't endure the Paris Is Burning-style bad craziness you put 'em through? Well, it looks like it's time to sell a pint of plasma and use the cash for some psychedelic (and highly unfortunate) Crazy Earphones from Solid Alliance. Featuring a banana, a kitty paw print, sushi, or a Frankenstein's monster-esque bolt affectation, we promise you that a pair of these will get you noticed. But not in the good way. Pre-order now for $22, shipping in December.%Gallery-76120% [Via Akihabara]
USB iriscope is just what you need for your next date
When you simply have $120.69-too-much in your bank account, you can thank Uxsight for being there. You may already be entertaining guests with your variety of USB endoscopes, but to really make the picture complete (pun only slightly intended), you're going to want this succulent USB iriscope. That's right, now you can peer deeply, digtally into the eyes of your... er, "clients" (their words, not ours) as you check their health and generally freak everyone out. When you're done, you can "compare the irises pictures when your client comes back to see their progress." Now, we don't know exactly what kind of procedure you're going to be performing on said clients, but you'll finally have a way to show them just what kind of mess you've made. We think Uxsight says it best about their product: "Natural image, attractive or charming." Who can argue with that kind of logic?[Via Coolest Gadgets]
Crapgadget: 'Hopefully USB 3.0 can avoid this path' edition
With USB 3.0 on the horizon, we can only hope that the world's purveyors of crap have a little respect for the forthcoming standard. By and large, USB 2.0 is plenty fast to handle the awful data transmissions between USB hand grenades, alien flash drives, moody card readers, Japanese fans and your PC, and frankly, we're not sure if the world can handle oodles upon oodles of SuperSpeed rubbish. Have a peek at the latest roundup from the worst of the worst, but please, not while you're eating.Read - Bear hand warmersRead - Solar cap fanRead - USB hand fanRead - USB moody card readerRead - Alien flash driveRead - Mosquito repellent USB dongleRead - USB hand grenade %Poll-34621%
Crapgadget: "That's actually kind of offensive" edition
We'll be honest -- most Crapgadget roundups consist of a litany of patently absurd, but totally innocent USB-related input peripherals. We aren't exactly sure what the Universal Serial Bus did to deserve such treatment, but evidently it slighted someone important along the way. But this time, things are... different. Oh sure, there's the jewel car necklace flash drive that inexplicably combines a "jewel" and a "car" on a "necklace flash drive," but it's the USB banana charger and USB aroma diffuser that really has our politically correct radars on high alert. Amazingly, the aforementioned atrocities are just the beginning, so feel free to visit each and every one of this week's losers and vote for the most disgusting down below. Choose carefully!Read - Jewel car necklace USB flash driveRead - USB banana chargerRead - Finger flick punching bagRead - USB digital microscope, Part IIRead - Big nose shower gel dispenserRead - Glitter ball alarm clockRead - USB panda speakerRead - USB aroma diffuser %Poll-33377%
Crapgadget: "Oh yeah, they're totally serious" edition
Every so often, we come across a gadget (or five) that's so offensive, so absurd that we simply can't help but stick it in our back pocket and show it to the general public. Today, we're rounding up the worst of the worst once again, proving that there literally is no end to the spewing of gadget-related garbage that comes from unknown caverns in undisclosed corners of the universe. We mean, just listen to these products: "fried eggs night light," "Bic lighter spy camera," "hungry caterpillar USB hub," and "half-eaten chocolate mouse." Does those even sound like kit that any partially sane individual would purchase? No, no it doesn't. Have a gander while shaking your head furiously below, and feel free to drop a vote for the king of the crap while venting in comments below. Trust us, it's therapeutic.Read - Half-eaten chocolate mouseRead - USB Penguin 4-Port Hub Read - Fried Eggs Night LightRead - Spy camera Bic lighterRead - USB Bulb Flash DriveRead - Hungry caterpillar USB hub %Poll-33032%
Crapgadget: "USB, meet animals; animals, meet USB" edition
Hey, real quick -- are you a registered member of the Sierra Club? What about PETA? If you answered yes to either, we're going to kindly ask that you continue scrolling down the page while whistling heartily and "looking the other way." This week's roundup of horribly crappy gadgets involves far too many innocent animals, from a USB-infused tortoise that doubles as an ashtray to a tank of jellyfish that only receive their nutrients when the USB cable is connected. And then there's the Elmo that's forced to do sit-ups while your data transfers onto his feeble brain. It's sick, really. Once you're over the shock and horror, feel free to cast your vote below for the lamest of the lame -- and feel free to consult and / or hold a friend if necessary.Read - USB tortoise hub / ashtrayRead - USB jellyfish tankRead - Panda USB hubRead - USB Crunching ElmoRead - USB Chocolate Popsicle drive %Poll-31999%
Calvin Klein gets into the Crapgadget biz
Yup, we see a ton of flash drives round here -- but this is the first one we've seen from the august house of Calvin Klein. Somehow, these sunglasses with a 4GB flash drive stuffed into the right stem are simultaneously uninteresting and horrifying to us... though we certainly enjoy the mental imagery of spotting someone sporting these while half a stem-piece is jammed into their laptop. If you're enough of a fashion victim to consider purchasing these bad boys, they'll be unleashed on the waiting world in October, and run you about $200. [Via Switched]
Crapgadget: 'Gee... thanks?' edition
If you need a flash drive or USB hub there are many useful and, more to the point, tasteful options out there. But if you want to saddle a hapless co-worker or relative with a silly, embarrassing, or just plain crapulant gag gift suitable for the current technological moment? Look no further than the following assortment of crapgadgets. Your illustrious Engadget eds have hand-picked a wonderful assortment of devices tailor-made to evoke awkward responses at office birthday parties and the like. So, without further ado...Read - No Green Thumb Required: USB Fever 4-Port Flower Pot HubRead - USB Airplane Hub with built-in fan Read - Robot USB Drives would make a cute gift Read - USB Artillery HubRead - USB Octopus Hub%Poll-31510%
Crapgadget: Delicious salmagundi of decorative inanities edition
We're always big fans of mixed-use gadgets -- but these ones kind of mutilate the principle. On hand today we've got a two pack of bedazzled necklaces -- one an MP3 player, the other a USB flash drive / watch combo. We've also unearthed a USB speaker that claims to be a whale, but more closely resembles a weird, in our opinion. Finally (and this one was worth the wait, trust us), we've got a tiny Moto Horn for your bike, which makes it "safer" to ride your bike by... making vroom vroom motorbike noises as you zoom along. Consider these our best suggestions for what to do with your disposable income, folks.Read - USB Jewel Square Necklace MP3 PlayerRead - USB Jewel Watch Necklace Flash DriveRead - USB Cetacean Whale SpeakerRead - Moto Horn
Crapgadget: Tacky USB knicknacks edition
When the fine folks of the USB Implementers Forum put together the specs for USB 2.0 some nine odd years ago, they certainly never dreamed that this technology would be the standard connectivity option for the tacky knickknacks of the 21st century. We know you won't be lining your mantelpiece with any of these things (the space being reserved for your Franklin Mint collector plates depicting the cast of Gone With The Wind) but maybe your cube could use some gussying up? We have 2GB thumb drives for you that almost-not-really pass themselves off as cat's ears, a USB hub that comes with "chocolate" balls of dubious provenance, a hub that might look at home next to your skull bong, and lastly, a USB powered fan with a fetching Spider-Man motif. Do any of these sound good to you? We didn't think so. But feel free to hop on past the break for a good laugh.Read - USB Chocolate 3-Port Hub Read - USB Memory Cat Ears Read - Wacky Skull and Potato Polyresin USB HubsRead - USB Spider-Man Fan
Crapgadget: USB embarrassments shame Intel's rock stars
Seriously, Ajay here would be downright ashamed. His Universal Serial Bus has found some seriously awesome uses over the years, sure, but the latest torrent of USB-equipped garbage is looking to do more harm than good to the venerable connector. In our latest roundup of crap found 'round the web, we see yet again that it's the USB-infused devices holding down the fort. From a flashlight-packin' USB SD card reader to a USB Parrot, our heads hurt from just imagining who among us is actually spending cold, hard credit on this rubbish. Feel free to inflict the same pain upon yourself by visiting the links below, and then cast your vote for the worst of the worst. Good luck, brave souls.Read - USB SD card reader with flashlightRead - Sparkling USB bracelet with no purpose or dreamsRead - USB Notebook Pocket Cooler puts 'Huffing' and 'Puffing' out of workRead - Pepe, the USB ParrotRead - 4-port USB hub gains a mirror... because it canRead - Jewel Rose Pin USB Flash Drive: perfect for Great, Great, Great Grandmother's DayRead - USB U-Shape i-Speaker just looks disturbing %Poll-30429%
Crapgadget: No wonder the economy sucks edition
While we here at Engadget are doing everything in our power to get this philosophical "economy" back "on track," it's items like these that aren't doing anything to help. No innovation. No stimulating capabilities. No utility at all, really. Just a webcam that scans business cards, an MP3 player shaped like a cow and a flash drive that's absolutely not certified for circulation by the Democratic National Committee. Though, we must say that they're all tailor made for Crapgadget, which is (just barely) good enough for us -- drop your vote for the lamest below! Read - CowCow MP3 player Read - 4-Port Soccer Ball USB Hub Read - MSI StarCam Flip Webcam Read - USB Bird Fan Read - Bling Bling USB Card Reader Read - Obama Flash Drive %Poll-29537%
Crapgadget: USB abomination edition (with a pinch of superhero)
Seriously, just listen at this and try to stifle your sighs. "Bling Bling USB optical mouse." "Jewel Necklace USB flash drive." "Turtle-Look USB 2.0 Hub with a tray." "Magic Sensor LCD Alarm Clock." "Insect USB Mini Fan." Yes, friends, this is the type of utter garbage we're dealing with in this episode of Crapgadget. Honestly, we're simultaneously astounded and deeply depressed that anyone would even consider dishing out their hard-earned cheddar for any of this rubbish, but we're doing our darnedest to pretend that these were simply created for us to have a laugh at.The week's strongest contender? Some superhero magnet pixels... and that's saying something.Read - Bling Bling mouseRead - Jewel necklace USB driveRead - Turtle USB hubRead - Sensor alarm clockRead - Insect fanRead - Magnetic pixels %Poll-28983%
Crapgadget: Why are you doing this to us, Spider-phone?
We can't tell if this is an insane piece of crap or completely awesome. Spider-phone appears to be a new item, albeit pretty far behind the Spider-man product curve -- but, you know -- whatever. Regardless, it's got all the hallmarks of a finely crafted attempt to cash in on Peter Parker's alter ego... the webs, the webs, not to mention the fact that Tobey Maguire's on the box! This rad GSM piece boasts a 2 megapixel camera, a microSD slot, and a color swivel display. It's available in Hong Kong for HK$1180 (about US$152). Up next: a NewGoblin-phone with Franco napping on the box? We sure hope so! Check out a few more shots after the break.
