Dumb -- Engadget

dumb posts

e-Volve Gadget Shoulder Holster: the ultimate man purse

by Darren Murph posted Nov 18th 2008 at 1:12AM

Let's get one thing straight right from the get-go: the e-Volve Gadget Shoulder Holster could definitely be considered the ultimate woman purse too, but that would first require you to actually find a female who would agree to said statement with a straight face. Following in the oh-so-daring footsteps of the nearly legendary Remote Wrangler is this piece: a mishmash that's half C.O.P.S., half Brenthaven and 100% gnarly. Aside from providing the perfect cover for carrying your essentials underneath a suit, it offers up plenty of space for a smartphone, a backup mobile, a writing utensil, a few earbuds and, if positioned correctly, a Chrome 45. That's a lot of badassery for just $69.95.

[Via I4U News]

Magnetic 4-port USB hub: for brazen daredevils only

by Darren Murph posted Oct 6th 2008 at 3:10AM

We know, the minuscule magnets adorned on this 4-port USB hub aren't technically strong enough to have any severe effect on your data, but seriously, why would you chance it? In what has to be one of the worst ideas in low-end technology to ever grace our eyes, the magnetic 4-port USB hub enables users to stick their hub on any nearby file cabinet, metal plate or refrigerator door, though we can't figure out why that's such an awesome benefit. If you can, however, feel to show off your carefree side by handing over $13.99.

FreeHand puts a pocket on your wrist, L on your forehead

by Darren Murph posted May 31st 2008 at 6:15PM

This day and age, there's really no excuse to have too little room in your average pair of cargo shorts for all the gadgets needed in a day. Convergence and shrinking PCBs have left us with do-it-all handhelds that can fit in the rear pockets of size 2 jeans on a size 4 gal, so really, you have exactly zero reasons to actually buy that abomination pictured above. If you must know, the FreeHand is a wearable neoprene pocket that keeps your keys, flash drives, RSA token and chump change within easy reach, and if you're lucky, you may be able to convince the boss it's being worn to prevent carpal tunnel syndrome. Folks who haven't listened to a word we just said can ignite a Jackson right now -- or spend $19.95 on this, same difference.

[Via Coolest-Gadgets]

Bus driver chooses GPS over gigantic warning sign, plows into overpass

by Darren Murph posted Apr 17th 2008 at 10:56PM

Okay Britons, here's your shot at ripping us Americans who've had quite a few laughs at the expense of your GPS-loving neighbors. Reportedly, the driver of a charter bus carrying a high school girls' softball team decided to casually follow the soothing turn-by-turn directions that were being emitted from the nearby GPS unit rather than actually noticing the enormous clearance sign on the overpass ahead. As you can likely guess, the 11-foot, 8-inch-high vehicle plowed right into the 9-foot bridge -- which was added to the National Register of Historic Places in 1982 -- though somehow everyone on board escaped without any major injuries. Oddly enough, the driver apparently isn't alone in chipping away at the landmark, as a local even mentioned that "large trucks hit the bridge every two weeks or so," but couldn't resist noting that "this [instance was] by far the worst."

[Thanks, Raleigh]

Robber holds up bank, doesn't bother to get off his cellphone

by Darren Murph posted Apr 17th 2008 at 6:14AM

Make no mistake, we've seen some fairly boneheaded moves (even someone rocking this very same gaffe!) made by technologically-illiterate bank robbers, but the latest case involves a fellow who was quite the opposite of that. Yes, the 20 to 25 year male who decided to hold up an Alabama bank the day before his taxes were due actually did the deed without hanging up his cellphone. And there's surveillance footage to prove it. Quite honestly, we can't imagine what the conversation here would've been like, but at least he made the most of whatever minutes he had remaining as a free man, right?

[Via textually]

Trucker blindly follows GPS, gets wedged in farm lane

by Darren Murph posted Feb 22nd 2008 at 9:36AM

At first glance, we seriously assumed that we had mentioned this exact same story before. Turns out, one particular Maxi Haulage driver doesn't tune into Engadget, as he pulled the exact same trick in (almost) the same circumstances. Reportedly, this timber haul was cut short as the driver followed his personal GPS system down a "farm lane" suitable only for (presumably small) tractors, and needless to say, the 45-foot vehicle has been wedged ever since. Additionally, the owner of the property is quite irate, as the mishap is forcing her to drive an extra two miles until rescue arrives. Still, the motorist did cruise right by a sign noting that the upcoming road was unfit for heavy goods vehicles, so at least the sat nav can't take all of the blame this go 'round.

[Thanks, Carl H.]

Blinger portable ATM isn't at all relevant, handy

by Darren Murph posted Feb 1st 2008 at 11:32AM

Every so often, a gizmo crosses our path that truly makes us question the thought process of its creator(s). This particular Friday, that gizmo is the Blinger. This so-called "portable ATM" apparently enables users to whip out an oversized, one-trick-pony of a device and instantly send cash for wares, check your current level of fundage, calculate currency conversions and wonder why on earth they haven't invented this thing called "online banking." Oh, wait.

[Via InventorSpot]

Cellphone criminal dubbed "dumbest" by police

by Darren Murph posted Jan 9th 2008 at 2:01AM

Rest assured, we've seen some brainless criminals in our day, but this one ranks pretty high on the list. Reportedly, a (potentially inebriated) individual waltzed into a police station and frantically announced that his phone had been stolen at gunpoint. When the detective called the number of the phone reportedly stolen, however, a ring was heard from the "victim's" pocket. After pondering what the criminal hoped to gain from the situation, we here at Engadget HQ came up empty, and apparently, the police involved in the situation were equally stumped -- so stumped, in fact, that they issued a statement entitled "Dumbest criminal?" with details of the event in a local newspaper. We'd say that sums it up fairly accurately.

[Image courtesy of FOTW, thanks LordFarkward]

BW-M2404 PMP takes a hint from your average digiframe

by Darren Murph posted Dec 4th 2007 at 5:34PM

We're not quite sure what to make of Best Wisdom Industrial's BW-M2404, which could easily be a diminutive digital photo frame or a fat-bordered PMP depending on how you see it. Nevertheless, the manufacturer claims it's the latter, so we'll stick with that until told otherwise. As for specs, this oddly-shaped device sports a 2.4-inch 320 x 240 resolution LCD, between 512MB and 4GB of internal storage, an SD expansion slot, image / text viewer, a few built-in games, USB 2.0 connectivity, a rechargeable Li-ion and support for MJPEG, FLV, WMV, QVGA, MP3, WMA, DRM, WMA, OGG, WAV, APE and FLAC file formats. You'll also find an FM tuner and an interesting control layout, but unfortunately, we've no idea what this awkward little bugger will actually run you. If intuition isn't leading us astray, we'd say you're better off in the dark.

[Via PMPToday]

Hello Kitty gets her own automatic toilet paper dispenser

by Darren Murph posted Nov 25th 2007 at 7:48PM

Sadly, automatic toilet paper dispensers are nothing new to this gadget-crazed world, but the latest from Sanrio puts a bizarre twist on an already zany contraption. The Hello Kitty TP dispenser is gushing with obligatory cuteness and can be programmed to dole out exactly the right amount of paper with each button press; of course, there really should be a couple of buttons to satisfy the whole family, but we digress. The unit reportedly rings up at around $220, which sounds about two bills too high unless you're already devoted to collecting all things adorned with Ms. Kitty. Ah well, at least your Hello Kitty toilet paper won't seem so out of place now, right?

Solid Alliance celebrates with four-port USB cake

by Darren Murph posted Nov 20th 2007 at 4:59PM

We've already seen Sony and Nintendo (er, an avid fanboy) get down with their bad selves and celebrate with cakes that represent their respective milestones, but Solid Alliance is out to make sure no one gets shunned from the festivities. That's right kids, even the USB obsessed can find a reason to party down, as the limited edition four-port USB cake enables you to connect up a variety of warming gizmos to keep your person toasty while surfing through the cold, blustery days that lie ahead. Additionally, the cake comes with four strawberry flash drives, each of which pack a full gigabyte of delicious storage space. Better hurry, though -- reservations are only being accepted through December 3rd, and you can expect the cake and all of its trimmings to run you a staggering ¥50,000 ($453).

[Via FarEastGizmos]

GPS leads driver into tight spot, stays wedged for three days

by Darren Murph posted Nov 2nd 2007 at 3:56PM

Every few months, we happen upon yet another story involving a motorist who simply believes that their GPS system would never, ever lead them astray. This go 'round, a Czech lorry driver continued down an incredibly narrow lane at the request of his sat nav, and even though his ginormous camion was clearly too large to make it around the 90-degree turn, he threw common sense to the wind and continued onward. Needless to say, his ride ended up wedged so tightly he couldn't reverse his way out, so he decided to set up shop for three whole days rather than calling for "an expensive weekend rescue." Interestingly enough, the fellow managed to acquire food after befriending a couple that lived nearby, and while we're sure he uttered Michael Scott's words in a different tongue, we've little doubt that "the machine knows!" was heard by nearby wildlife shortly before this situation turned sour.

PS Audio's prototype CD transport pretends to be cool

by Darren Murph posted Oct 19th 2007 at 4:31AM

There's nothing we love more (okay, that's an exaggeration -- but barely) than blatant overkill, and this here prototype from PS Audio fits that description to a T. Granted, we fully expect audiophiles to blindly stand up for this thing -- even though no one outside of the company has a clue just how incredible (or not) the innards actually are -- but here's the skinny. This not-yet-named CD transport reportedly transfers audio tracks from standard CDs onto internal memory for as long as the disc remains inside; apparently, this design "nullifies any jitter" and "other possible audio degradation." Theoretically sound as this logic may be, we can think of quite a few other ways to listen to music stored on flash memory (or similar) without spending $2,000. Who knows though, maybe that wood is incomprehensibly exotic.

Crook demands $185k in ransom for stolen cellphone

by Darren Murph posted Oct 17th 2007 at 11:04PM

If a burglar with exquisite taste somehow managed to snag a million dollar Goldvish, asking for just $185,000 for its safe return wouldn't be too far-fetched. Apparently, the mobile in question wasn't of the princely variety, as this particular thief managed to lower his asking price to a rock-bottom $200. The suspect, known initially through police paperwork as "Baby Boy," was lured into a trap after police tagged along for the exchange and arrested him at gunpoint. When Mr. Boy (later found to be Randy-Jay Adolphos Jones, which is only slightly better) was questioned, he just couldn't put a finger on why he blurted out the $185k figure versus something more reasonable, but hey, not everyone can be right on top of current market conditions, right?

[Via The Raw Feed]

Talking digital hand-grip exerciser keeps track of squeezes

by Darren Murph posted Oct 17th 2007 at 7:08PM

We're still not entirely sold on exercise gear that yaps back at you, but if you'd rather your machinery do the counting, the Talking Digital Hand-Grip Exerciser is right down your alley. The title pretty much tells all, but this hand exerciser boasts an integrated LCD and a built-in drone (or its vocal box, at least) that proudly announces how many squeezes you've completed and the current, total, or maximum grip force. Throw down $12.99 for this and couple it with your Konami push-up counter for a workout that's sure to be unbelievably invigorating.

[Via UberReview]