StupidGadgetCriminals
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Stupid gadget criminal tries to pass off oven door as plasma TV
Well even though we've seen a number of product switcheroos at legitimate big box chains, you're still probably better off buying your gear at an established retailer than from a guy off the street, as evidenced by the cautionary tale of Charles Wright of Vacaville, California. Mr. Wright thought that he could make a quick buck by shrink-wrapping the tinted windows from old oven doors and passing them off as plasma televisions, offering potential buyers "the deal of the century" on merchandise stored in the trunk of his Acura. Well one of his marks ended up calling the cops, who eventually caught up with Mr. Wright and discovered the bogus "merchandise," along with boxed, 12-inch floor tiles that he was reportedly trying to sell as laptop computers. Pretty shoddy work, sir -- we've seen much better fakes in our day -- but then again, if someone was foolish to take advantage of one of these "deals," perhaps they really needed the life lesson anyway.[Thanks, Kelly G.]
You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, and you definitely don't try to jack a samurai sword-wielding gamer
As much as we'd like to believe we'd act as bravely as 15-year old Damian Fernandez in the face of burglars ransacking our house, the sad truth is that even equipped with Fernandez's samurai sword, we probably would have ended up more like his sister Deanne -- watching the action through slits in the closet door. Damian and Deanne were home alone in Hialeah, Florida earlier this month when a pair of young male assailants forced their way inside and began swiping valuables such as their parents' jewlery. But when one of the men busted into Deanne's room looking for her PlayStation 3 only to find an empty box, Damian was waiting outside with his blade of steel (artist's rendition pictured above), ready to deliver a crushing "strike" to the guy's chest. Long story short, Damian chased both idiots out of the house and down the street, where a police K-9 unit was later able to locate 21-year-old Javier Cotera cowering behind a palm tree. It's not clear if Cotera -- who's now out on bail -- has flipped on his buddy yet, but we can be pretty sure that both dudes are now the laughingstocks of the rest of their criminal associates.[Via digg]
Stolen Zune recovered while attempting to join the social
So we knew there had to be a good use for the Zune's crippled wireless functionality, and by golly, a Zunerama member has found just that. "Scoutflyer," presumably a student at a school that has banned iPods, claims that he was able to locate his buddy's stolen Zune by using his own unit to "search for friends" and hone in on the purloined DAP. Painfully aware that he had the only other Zune in a three-mile radius, the thief wisely decided to cop to his crime when cornered, and Scoutflyer's friend was able to gleefully rejoin the social. Now if only Microsoft could build a Zune that finds stuff besides other Zunes (treasure, oil, Hoffa), they'd have a real iPod-killer on their hands.
Stupid burglars accept texted ransom offer for stolen cellphone
Sometimes people really do get what's coming to them. Brothers Jared and Cooper Colwell and two other men were sleeping at their home in Midvale, Utah last Tuesday, when a pair of ski-masked crooks busted into the house and demanded everyone's cash, wallets, and cellphones. Sounds like your typical home invasion, except for the fact that Jared thought he recognized one of the burglar's voices -- it sounded like a friend of theirs named Randall Talbot who had previously crashed at their pad for a few weeks. Figuring they had nothing to lose, the men texted Jared's cellphone with a message saying "Randy, I really want my phone back; I'll pay you $300 for the phone right now" (must have been a Treo). If you're stupid enough to rob your friend's house it stands to reason that you might be stupid enough to collect a ransom on the stolen merchandise as well, and sure enough, Randy and his partner-in-crime Justin Brooks agreed to a meeting at the local Smith's store. As you've probably guessed by now, the Colwells immediately called the cops, who were there to greet Randy and Justin as they emerged from behind a dumpster at the rendezvous point -- reportedly poised to grab the $300 and take off. We tip our hat to you, soon-to-incarcerated cellphone thieves: out of the many stupid gadget criminals who have graced these pages, you two are by far the biggest idiots of them all.[Via FARK]
On trial for computer theft, burglar steals PCs from courthouse
In our last installment of Stupid Gadget Criminals, we brought you the amusing tale of two dimwitted Arkansas men who had made a habit of stuffing videogames from Wal-Mart down their pants and then reselling the stolen merchandise at a local GameStop outlet -- which happened to be right next door to the 'Mart. Today's episode features a Marin County, California gentleman by the name of Jon Houston Eipp who was caught by police trying to steal a number of Apple computers from Portal Publications in Ignacio; Eipp was captured following a brief struggle, while his accomplice was apprehended minutes later after crashing the getaway car on an off-ramp. So far there's nothing all that noteworthy about this crime -- until Eipp showed up in court last Wednesday for his hearing, that is -- when, upon being released on bail, he proceeded to hide in the Civic Center courthouse until closing time and steal even more computers by carting them out in a recycling bin. Even though he was stopped by maintenance workers and sheriff's deputies on the way out, Mr. Eipp still managed to vacate the premises without being apprehended, and might have remained a free man for awhile longer had he not been caught later that night trying to steal a 1996 Volkswagen. Although one might gather from this story that Eipp has a severe Internet addiction, he later admitted that he was just stealing the PCs for drug money, a habit that he'll hopefully be able to kick during a likely prison term of 4+ years.[Via Fark]
