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Forget implants: the breast enlarging ringtone

Peter Rojas
09.24.04
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Japanese cellphone

So Hideto Tomabechi, one of the guys who helped deprogram members of the Aum Shinrikyo cult in Japan, has started selling a ringtone that he says will make your breasts grow larger just by listening to it, something which should make it very popular with the ladies (guys, you're gonna want to carry some earplugs just in case). Fortunately there are customer testimonials in case you were worried about this thing being legit or not, and Tomabechi says it's really simple, that he just uses sounds that "make the brain and body move unconsciously. It's a technique involving subliminal effects," that's like "positive brainwashing." If getting all busty through a ringtone isn't your bag, he also ringtones on the way that'll improve your memory, make you more attractive to the opposite sex, cure baldness, and help you give up smoking. Ringtones, man, ringtones.

UPDATE: Wanna hear what it sounds like? Click here.

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