Admit it, even though you know it's totally bogus and totally crass, you've been dying to actually hear what that
breast-enlarging ringtone they've been selling in Japan
sounds like, right? Well, we got Gareth, our Tokyo correspondent, to download it to his phone and make a copy of it for
us, which we're making available to you as an MP3 (for educational purposes, of course). If you can't be bothered to
download it (or don't want to take the risk of the ringtone actually having its advertised effect), we can tell you it
sounds mainly like Yngwie Malmsteen playing a guitar solo, which for some reason makes perfect sense. Now if you'll
excuse us, we've been blasting this all morning and must now run out to get our first training
bras.