The, uh, Jewish Watch
It's still a little harsh being a part of the Jew Crew outside a few select first world countries, but if you want to wear it out peep the Jewish Watch. Besides being, um, made in Israel, it displays in English or Hebrew, toggles between Hebrew and Gregorian calendars at sunset, and alerts you when it's time to recite the Shema, light candles on Erev Shabbat, and other important events (never again will we miss a performance of the sardonically irreverent "Dibbick Schmibbick, I Said More Ham," or "Bubbie Stole the Kishka"). Our favorite part, though, is that while it's programmable for any location in the world, it only comes pre-programmed for the classic seven Jewish hangout spots: Jerusalem, London, Tel-Aviv, Paris, New York, Buenos Aires, and Los Angeles. What, going somewhere else you think you'd rather be?