As if the vague threat of
malignant tumorous cranial growths wasn't enough of a cellphone turnoff, the U.K's Royal Society published a report
suggesting that live phones left near the area's area could
inhibit sperm production and quality, which corroborates
with prior evidence from a study performed at the University
of Newcastle on mice sperm. In other words, if you're trying to have a kid (uhh) and don't want it to have 7 arms,
you might want to switch that radio off—or at least move it to your breast pocket where it'll interact unpredictably
with your heart implant.