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TUAW Exclusive: iPod nano coverup for gigantic Steve Jobs

Scott McNulty

The world is abuzz with news about the iPod nano. People love them (they seem to love the black ones a little more), but I have uncovered shocking news, dear readers.

The iPod nano is a sham. They haven't made the iPod smaller; they've made Steve Jobs much, much larger.

We have all fallen victim to his Steveness' famed Reality Distortion Field, though this time around it has been used for sinister purposes. Apple R&D elves have long been working on a device that would increase Steve's size so that his body could contain his legendary ego. The process went without a hitch, and Steve Jobs MACRO was to be introduced at the special media event.

Behind the stage, just before the media event was to start, Steve MACRO strode gigantic nervous strides. It seems that not only were his physical attributes enlarged, but his mercurial nature was amplified to the tenth power. He turned to Jonathan Ive and screamed, 'Small is the new gigantic!! Why didn't you tell me?!' Ives was stunned.

'FETCH ME A 60 GIG iPOD,' Steve MACRO bellowed. Ive scrambled across the stage with a 60GB iPod which he placed in his giant boss's hands.

 'Ok, here's what we're going to do: I'll take this 60 gig iPod and introduce it as an iPod tiny. No, that doesn't work. Umm.. iPod littlest. That's crap. I've got it, the iPod nano! '


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