Here's one of the goofiest ideas we've seen in awhile: Sananim, an anti-abuse organization based in the Czech Republic, has set up a free service that allows boozehounds to text them information about the night's drinking debauchery; they'll then reply with an SMS telling you if you're too drunk to drive. There's no breathalyzer test here, mind you; you simply provide them with info concerning your sex, weight, drinks consumed, and time you started drinking, and their sophisticated algorithms (developed by Finland's A-Clinic Foundation) calculate if it's time to call a cab. Imagine if the police enacted a similar service: "Please text us your sex, age, weight, location, and crime you may have committed, and stay where you are. Our computer will determine the severity of your crime and dispatch the requisite number of officers." Yeah, OK. We say that if you're drunk enough to even consider using this wacky Czech system, you're probably at or close to the legal limit, and should immediately hand your keys over to the nearest attractive bar patron.