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29 no-nos for gamers over age 30

Vladimir Cole
11.11.05
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Old people with nintendo revolution controllers in handThe ESA says that the average gamer is 30 years old. It's time that those of us who are 30 or older realize that some of the things we grew up doing as gamers are no longer really appropriate, cool, or kosher given our new demographic bucket. Here, then, is a helpful guide to 29 things a gamer should never do past the age of 30.

  1. Participate in LAN parties with minors

  2. Quit your job to pursue a pro-gaming career

  3. Start a Star Wars themed PC case mod in the living room

  4. Ever use the jargon OMG, BBQ and WTF together in the same phrase

  5. Pirate games - shouldn't you have an income by now?

  6. Find the idea of teamkilling funny

  7. Choose a female avatar so that you can try to upskirt her

  8. Refuse to play games that are rated lower than mature

  9. Tea-bag a downed opponent in Halo 2

  10. Play any game with Princess Toadstool in it

  11. Choose a gamer handle including any form of the words "hell," "killer," "death," or "-inator"

  12. Yell "pwnt" in a public virtual space

  13. Play a female character in an MMOG in order to troll for "Crying Game" victims

  14. Disconnect when losing at Starcraft or any other RTS

  15. Ninja loot

  16. Get your gaming news from a print publication

  17. Replace the letter S with a dollar sign when writing Microsoft, Sony, or PlayStation

  18. Live in your parents' basement to support a gaming habit

  19. Break mice in a fit of rage after being served in an FPS game

  20. Try to win an argument in a gaming forum

  21. Pretend that movies like Doom and Tomb Raider are anything but crap

  22. Carry softcore anime porn on your PSP to show the guys at work

  23. Hadoken someone as a greeting, complete with hand motions and sound effects

  24. Play competitively against anyone under the age of 10

  25. Read or write fanfiction

  26. Yell or type, "Laggg" when losing an online game

  27. Bogart the controller

  28. Work at GameStop "just for the discount"

  29. Type liek JeffK

Got more to add to the list? Post it!



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