The Good Lord already gave us the SMS Bible, now Dot Mobile is offering a new service which provides subscribers with text message summaries and quotes from classic literature. Dot Mobile asserts that their version of the classics will "help raise educational standards." For example, Hamlet has been compressed to a lossy "2B? NT2B?=???." Whew, that just oozes with tragedy, eh? In hopes of manufacturing consent, they've hired Professor John Sutherland, professor emeritus of English Literature and this year's chairman for the prestigious Man Booker prize, to help transl8. Oh where are the linguistic gnomes meant to defend the inhabitants on Earth, now?