Joystiq impressions: Thrillville Off the Rails
We all know about Thrillville, the rollercoaster simulator ... but what happens when it goes Off the Rails? Sure, we've got over a dozen new minigames (for a total of over three dozen, according to a LucasArts rep), but we now have the ability to ride your coasters without ever finishing them.
Look, we know you're thinking, "Hey Joystiq, isn't that dangerous? Doesn't the law of gravity apply to physics engines, too?" Well you're right but remember: virtual death is only virtually sad. And there were virtually no complications with what we saw. Instead of death, you jump to a loading scene and you're back off the ride. As if it was all just a dream. Even if you aren't saved by the great "Now Waiting" sign in the sky, all coaster participants are given jet packs and parachutes. From our initial impressions, there was a 100% survival rate, but you never know when poor clipping might cause pixelated peril.
The pre-ride commercial further revealed, although accidentally, of its diabolical nature. Kids are taught new slang like thrill-tastic, crash-tastic and maximum minigamemadness. Oh no, folks, it gets worse. At this point, all those under 18 should look away ... gone? Good. Other horrific linguistic monstrosities include hurl-o-metrics and partyheartytechnics. And if our kids learn partyheartytechnics, there's no telling what they'll do next.
At this point in our Thrilling journey, our world turns grainy, our colors drab and our arms get the aching feeling they are about to be flailed. We have thus entered, the Wii-light Zone. Colossal masses of steel rails are constructed in record time, by the Great Hands of He Who Holds the Wii Remote tilting both the nunchuk and remote to indicate the twists and turns.
Cowering in the corner with a cold sweat, we were thus thrust into steel cage hamster balls encased in massive Rock 'Em Sock 'Em robots. As the onlookers shout "Robo KO," we realize we are in a deathmatch that plays like a more involved Wii Boxing. With each punch, we are told just how to continue combos for massive damage.
Is it over? Yes, yes it is. The children can come out now and play. Thrillville: Off the Rails won't resurface until October for Wii, DS, PC, Xbox 360, PlayStation 2 and PSP.
