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Gears of War a failure, sells a meager 3 million copies

Crushingly grim news emerged from Microsoft headquarters today, with the announcement that Gears of War had only managed to sell 3 million copies within the cavernous expanse of ten weeks. Further information imparted by the depress release (which had to go lie down for a bit) concerns the game's downloadable content. Last week's pair of new multiplayer maps saw a mere 750,000 downloads, with all content (including themes and videos) reaching an embarassing 1.5 million Xbox Live users.

Having failed to meet their original goal of selling 3 million and one copies, the employees of Epic Games are now expected to tighten the belts holding up their slightly effeminate, jewel-encrusted pants. The Gears of War developer will surely need to crank out a hit soon if they hope to pay off Cliffy B's recent acquisition of 867,000 chocolate flamingos.