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Starbucks launches record label

Building on the success of its iTunes-based "Hear Music" page, Starbucks has decided to launch its own record label. Hear Music will sign its own artists, and sell its recordings through Starbucks stores and iTunes. According to the AP, Ken Lombard, president of Starbucks Entertainment, says the company has focused on the success of its iTunes page.

One can only presume that in addition to the standard RIAA/Simon Cowell approach[1] to signing musicians, Starbucks will also provide a small percentage of highly-decaffeinated Fair Trade Certified™ recordings, where lucky musicians will receive equitable royalties if ordered in Grande or Venti sizes. Because "Medium" and "Large" talents do not exist at Starbucks.

[1] You have potential but frankly I was bored.[2]

[2] I really felt your performance. You made it your own.[3]

[3] Dawg. Dawg. Dawg.

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