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Breakfast Topic: Funny Stuff

David Bowers

At some point in your WoW adventures, someone is sure to have sent you some of the funny items that are littered all over the game, such as the "Exotic Cookbook" (entitled "How to serve man"), and the "Broken I W.I.N. Button." Not too long ago, a friend of mine sent me one I hadn't seen before, the "Steamy Romance Novel," which really made me chuckle:

As Nahni glided up, the grizzled warrior gave her a hard stare. "I suppose you're here to collect the reward for killing those murlocs?"

Her eyes wandered down to the glowing broadsword at his side. "That depends on what the reward is, Marcus." She twirled her hair playfully, pretending not to notice how he shifted uncomfortably in her presence. "I may not want it."

Marcus stepped toward her, bristling with a mixture of fear and anger. "The reward is not negotiable!" He paused for a moment while gathering his nerve, and pressed himself against her diminutive form. Their lips met hotly, melting her frost armor spell in a torrent of sweltering vapor.

"So, is there another step to this quest?" she teased, her eyes glittering with excitement.

<This goes on for several hundred more pages, without advancing the plot.>
Are there any items in this game that make you smile whenever you think of them? If you can't think of items, perhaps you know of a place or NPC? Tell us about anything you think is funny.

Update: I just can't resist quoting in full some of the things that commenters have found. It's quite silly, and it really should be part of this post anyways. Click on the link to read them.

Behold, a series of diary pages found as messages in bottles (thanks RSH!):

Diary - Day 4

I have been stranded on the Island now for 4 days, left alone with my thoughts. Bananas are pretty tasty, but what a long climb to reach them. When I am not getting food or protecting myself from the periodic rain, all my thoughts are of rescue.

I would not be so hopeful if it were not for the boxes of paper and bottles that washed ashore with me. I laugh now to think of all the time I spent on that ship cursing that I was stuck with a boatload of Alchemists and Scribes.

Diary - Day 87

These months have given me time to ponder, to shuffle loose my old beliefs and bigotries. Alliance? Horde? Good? Evil? The meanings of these words, once so clear, now blur as my eyes gaze across the boundless sea.

I now know what matters. The bananas are after me.

Perched high in their tree, they eye me with cool malevolence. And the last one I tried to eat nearly gagged me! I could almost hear it scream as I smashed it, half bitten, on sea rocks.

It's war, and I will win it.

Diary - Day 512

The bananas have started talking to me and I have learned a great deal about their culture. I have ceased my senseless destruction of their homes and consumption of the young. How little I knew then of the great civilization that I was destroying.

On another topic I seem to be running low on bottles and paper. When I first looked at those huge stacks of paper that washed ashore I thought they would be inexhaustible. Woe with me, my diary must end soon.
Update #2: I have to add another one to the main post! This one is courtesy of RC_Tech. Thanks!
The 1 Ring
Binds when equipped
+1 Strength
+1 Agility
+1 Stamina
+1 Intellect
+1 Spirit
Requires Level 10
"Not quite as good as the 2 Ring"

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