Contra: Dual Promoters

Alisha Karabinus
A. Karabinus|03.12.08

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Contra 4 has really undergone some serious changes for its Japanese release and it's getting less manly by the moment. In fact, these people promoting the game don't seem to have a single chest hair. There's nary a headband in sight. Those muscles are absolutely pitiful. What have you done, Konami? This is the last straw! Someone needs to draw mustaches on these girls and maybe whip up a couple of protein shakes immediately.

Where's Nintendo Power? They know what Contra is really all about: pure, undiluted beefcakery. Accept no substitute.

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