Virtually Overlooked: Arm Wrestling

I still can't get over the announcement of a new Punch-Out!! for Wii. It seemed like an obvious choice, sure, but Nintendo has avoided cashing in on plenty of obvious choices. To celebrate, I could have written a post about Super Punch-Out!!, but that's no fun at all. Well, actually, it's a lot of fun, but as a game. Instead, I have decided to reach a bit deeper into the tiny Punch-Out!! catalog and talk about ... the one that isn't about boxing.

In 1985, the Nintendo IRD team created a second arcade game for the bizarre stacked-monitor cabinet that housed Punch-Out!! Like that game, it featured a small, nearly featureless competitor facing off against giant, grimacing dudes who happen to be broad stereotypes. But instead of punching the guys out, you ... wrestle ... their arms ... down. I'd be terrible at writing PR copy. And instead of a kid in a black tank top, you're a dope in a blue shirt with a black sweater-vest on. The effect is that of a rejected 1940's superhero sidekick.

Arm Wrestling involves jamming the joystick to the left and repeatedly smashing the button to push the opponent's arm down. When they start to make one of the traditional Punch-Out!! tells (blinking, making a face, etc.), you have to tap buttons and move the joystick back and forth according to onscreen prompts. When you successfully surprise the opponent, he's stunned -- rattling eyes and pinball noises alert you to this, also just like in Punch-Out!!

Before you fight Texas Mac, Kabuki, and the others, you'll be treated to a bit of early video game voice work. The usual fighting game stuff, as well as some attract speech that intones "Been waiting for you!" and "Gentlemen, let the tournament begin!" Except it sounds less like a person and more like a Speak 'n Spell. Poor Speak 'n Spells have no arms, and yet must preside over bouts of extreme, powerful armular athleticism.

Yeah, there aren't any arcade games on the Virtual Console. But a year ago, there was nearly no possibility of Cave Story appearing on the Wii as a downloadable game either, and the power of my belief made it true. I wanted it so hard that I made it real, like that kid from the Twilight Zone. This game on VC or WiiWare or what have you would also be pretty good. Well, okay, better than pretty good: it would be a game that most of us haven't played, with the authentic feel and charm of vintage Punch-Out!! That's worth one or two exclamation points.