Ask Massively: How to avoid being 'that guy'

This week's Ask Massively is a radical departure from recent weeks' columns. I'm not going to criticize anybody, nor will I blame you, the player, for the ills of the MMO industry. It will be a difficult job, but that's why they pay me the big bucks. (I almost kept a straight face... honest!)

Dear Massively,

I'm considering giving a new game like Warhammer Online a try, but I have a guild of good people in World of Warcraft, and I'm a bit reluctant to start over in a new game to try and make friends that I can play with. Most of us know what not to do in an MMO, but is there a relatively easy way to 'Win Friends and Influence People'?

-Friendly Noob Gamer

Those of you whose only exposure to me is through Ask Massively might think that I am nothing more than a bitter, caustic-mouthed, old schooler who would be perfectly happy standing on my front porch and yelling at kids to get off my damned lawn. (Hey, don't knock it 'til ya try it.) That is completely not true. I'm here to help.

That's why, FNG, you're in luck today. I am going to give you my own version of "How to Win Friends and Influence People" specially tailored for MMO players.

First of all, you need to group. You need to group a lot. One thing that many players hated about Everquest was that you were pretty much forced to group if you wanted to level up. The upside of that is that the sense of community among EQ players is far stronger than in any other game that I've played. You know your fellow players because at some point you have grouped with them. If you were a tank, you got to know who the good healers were. If you were a healer, you knew who could handle themselves in a fight. If you were an Enchanter, then shut up and give me 'crack', ok?

Grouping leads to social interaction. At some point in a dungeon run or even in an XP grinding group, you're going to chat a bit with the folks you're playing with. Obviously, a good sense of humor and friendly nature goes a long way towards making it easier to get groups in the future.

Another thing that helps in this regard is the ability to play your character well. Nobody likes grouping with a player who doesn't know what he's doing. Even worse is the player who doesn't know that he doesn't know what he's doing. We were all noobs once, but it doesn't take that much effort to read about your class and learn how to make the most of your abilities. If you find yourself in the unenviable position of "the noob in the party", then try my final tip.

Humility. I'm not talking about the "I am unworthy to suckle at the teat of your wisdom" kind of servility that creeps people out. I'm taking about owning up to your mistakes and asking intelligent questions like "Hey Mr. Tank. Am making it too difficult for you to keep agro by overhealing?" or "Should I wait for you to stack a couple more taunts on the mob before starting DPS?" or, if your group should wipe out, say something like "Sorry guys, that was my fault, I didn't watch my agro carefully enough". Acknowledge your mistakes, show everyone that you have learned from them, and move on. Don't blame your groupmates. Don't give excuses. Admit your error, and acknowledge what you have learned from it. When players respond with various pieces of advice, don't argue. Take it all in, do a little homework, and learn from it. "Right after a wipeout" is not the idea time to debate class mechanics.

Most of all, especially when you group with someone who follows these tips, use your friends list. Remember their names. Develop a network of players in-game that you can group with. By the time you get close to the end-game, you will have a long list of folks to play with, and if you pay attention to guild tags, you might even have a good idea of the kind of guild you might want to join. Before you know it, you'll be just as "at home" in your new game as you were in your old one.

That's all we have for this week in Ask Massively. If you have a question that you'd like to have answered, stop by our tip line or send a note to ask AT massively DOT com.