Zapper coming to Xbox Originals, why are you laughing?

You know that song, "Live Like You Were Dying?" You know what near-death activity you won't find in there between "Rocky Mountain climbin'" and going "2.7 seconds on a bull named Fu Manchu?" "Turning forgettable Frogger 2 rip-off Zapper into an Xbox Original." Likewise, "playing Zapper" or "ever thinking about Zapper" are also conspicuously absent. In fact, we'd wager that you could gather the bucket lists of every member of humanity and never see Zapper mentioned once.

This is why we should have been consulted before a single member of humanity was tasked with spending one nanosecond of their time turning Zapper into a 1200-point Xbox Original. Then we could have advised them that they'd be better off wadding all that time into a big chrono-ball, putting it in a rocket and shooting it into the sun.