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Phat Loot Phriday: Vile's Uglystick

Mike Schramm
Mike Schramm|December 19, 2008 8:00 PM

I couldn't remember the last time we did a big two-handed mace (or as I like to call them, "facebasher"), so here's something to quest for this weekend, if you're into that sort of thing.

Name: Vile's Uglystick (Wowhead, Thottbot, Magelo)
Type: Uncommon Two-handed Mace
Damage/Speed: 350-525 / 3.30 (132.6 DPS)
  • +53 Strength, +80 Stamina
  • Equip: Increases your parry rating by 53.

  • Not a bad starter tanking weapon, especially for Death Knights, though really the only reason you'd take this one is if you really wanted a mace and were working through the late solo game. There are better maces later on, of course, but for this mace, the journey is really worth more than the destination -- see below.
  • And the note on this one says "Once beaten, twice shy," which is of course a reference to the classic Great White tune (wow, what a row of hair metal classics in the beginning of that clip, right?), as well as a pun on "beaten" and "bitten," since "got beaten by the uglystick" is a euphemism for saying someone is hideously ugly. Get all that? Sure, we explained the joke, and probably ruined it, but at least I got a Great White video linked in there.
  • It would be fun if you could actually see mobs getting uglier every time you hit them with this, but you'll just have to imagine it. It might make PvP more fun, though.
How to Get It: You have to get a quest from Vile in The Shadow Vault, but wait -- you get to Icecrown, and The Shadow Vault isn't there. Yes, the neutral quest hub is actually an unlockable city (more phasing fun from Blizzard). To open it all up, you have to do a quest chain that starts with a quest called It's All Fun and Games, and as you do that questline, not only will you get Knights of the Ebon Blade reputation, but more quests and dailies will open up. As soon as you can talk to Vile, he'll give you a quest to kill some Vykrul in Jotunheim (which, by the way means "Home of the Giants" in Norse, so it's basicially San Francisco -- isn't this column full of fun facts today?), and when you get back, you'll get a choice of weapons, including this one.

Like we said, the quests are probably more fun than getting the actual item on this one, but the questline will also open up some Knights of the Ebon Blade dailies to do. And even if you're 80 already, there's lots of gold to be gotten from questing, so if you haven't done this stuff yet, look it up this weekend.

Getting Rid of It:
Vendors will give you 13g 64s 13c for it, or it'll disenchant into a Greater Cosmic Essence (with a chance of a Small Dream Shard).