2008's Biggest Blips: Final Fantasy Tactics A2
Developer: Square Enix
Publisher: Square Enix
Release: TBA
What separates Final Fantasy Tactics Advance from most other handheld SRPGS? Its level of polish. As with the original Final Fantasy Tactics game for the PlayStation, Square Enix put its talents and resources behind FFTA's soundtrack, character designs, and solid mechanics. Even today, five years later, the GBA title's presentation outclasses releases like Hoshigami Remix and Luminous Arc.
Final Fantasy Tactics A2: Grimoire of the Rift continues that high-budget, high-quality tradition. While Square Enix hasn't yet announced a US release date, and we're disappointed about the the game's lack of both online and offline multiplayer features, we're excited about all the sequel's additions -- 400 missions, Revenant Wings-esque item synthesis, a reworked law system, bigger enemies, an expanded map with distributed "area maps," and a ton of new job classes.
FFTA2 now boasts over 45+ different professions, ranging from Chocobo Knights (Chocobo-riding Moogles) to Bastards (a surly lot). Just as interesting as the vocations included are the ones that were cut from the final release due to time constraints or continuity issues. We came across their design documents while sifting through Square Enix's dumpster for discarded figurines, and we've posted the never-seen-before job classes right here for you!
Chimney Sweep
Action Ability
sweeps your chimney
walks around covered in soot
Combo Ability
after years of choking on grit and dust, dies an early death due to cancer caused by inhaling carcinogenic chemicals in the soot
Real World Roommate
Action Ability
accuses you of disrespectin' her
Reaction Ability
refuses to accept any apologies or assurances that you had no intention of disrespectin' her
Support Ability
tells everyone in the house that you're disrespectin' her
Damn Cargo Shorts-Wearin' Kids
Action Ability
wears those damn cargo shorts every day
has too many pockets for their own good
Support Ability
perpetuates the misbelief that wearing camo anything is acceptable fashion (e.g. camo cargo shorts)
Gangsta Rapper, Circa Early-to-Mid 90s
Action Ability
checks himself before he wrecks himself ('cause shotgun bullets are bad for his health)
is the capital S oh yes so fresh N double O P -- D O double G Y D O double G, ya see
Reaction Ability
calls his crew while you call your crew so you can rendezvous at the bar around two
Combo Ability
is better than your favorite rapper
Overbearing Asian Mother
Action Ability
belittles any and every measure you take to establish yourself as an individual
Reaction Ability
repeatedly insists that you should've become a doctor or a lawyer, like your successful cousins, instead of studying "computer"
Support Ability
leaves you with crippling feelings of inadequacy and social ineptitude
Cute Friend Whom You Have a Crush On
Action Ability
hair smells of strawberries, sunshine, and summer possibilities
is a kindred spirit; totally on the same wavelength as you
Reaction Ability
looks at you pityingly when you ask her out
just wants to be friends
isn't ready to date anyone right now
Combo Ability
sleeps with four other dudes -- simultaneously! -- the following week
Action Ability
is back in pog form
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